Outside Looking In

Rufus

2008-07-08T17:36:00.004-04:00

This post is for my recently departed Rufus. I pray that God takes you into his arms and keep you safe. I miss you and you'll always be in my heart.

Valentine's 1999

2008-07-07T17:11:00.001-04:00

Received this from my friends as part of a little pet project in 1999.

Another Grey's Anatomy Moment

2008-02-08T18:29:00.000-04:00

"Love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said that it'd be easy, they just promised it would be worth it."
--Ellen Pompeo as Dr. Meredith Grey

From Grey's Anatomy...I Love this.

2008-01-23T18:44:00.000-04:00

“A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. Never leave that till tomorrow, he said, which you can do today. This is the man who discovered electricity. You think more people would listen to what he had to say. I don't know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I'd have to say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you're wrong? What if you're making a mistake you can't undo? The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we hadn't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying.”
-Dr. Meredith Grey

Eating My Words

2006-11-13T14:33:00.000-04:00

I've had to eat my words. Blogger is indeed the best. It was just a hiccup and with all great software in order for it to be great software you're going to have hiccups. I apologise sincerely Google. Because I love you I really do. I love everything that you're doing to make things as painless as possible for all users. So thank you for everything.

I'm going to be back here. I haven't updated in so long that I've only now realised that modblog has died. How sad is that and the backup I made of the blog now has a zero size on it. I don't understand it. So I've lost everything from June 2005 to maybe March or April 2006. No biggie.

The only thing I've really lost is some sad blogs and some angry blogs so maybe it was for the best. So it's best for turning over a new leaf. So if you'll have me, I'm back.

Ok I've Moved

2005-06-21T12:27:00.000-04:00

We got a new puppy and I was going to upload some pictures but then I realised that with blogger I have to re-download a separate program to do it. I'm tired of that. So going somewhere else. After fiddling with it since May (though I haven't posted much over there) I've decided to do all my updating over there. I guess I'll still post here (out of habit) but just till I get the hang of things over there and of course when I have the time. Laters for now.

So here I am...Still Outside Looking In...

Still Breathing

2005-06-10T17:18:00.000-04:00

I'm still at work and just finished tidying up my desk. At least it doesn't look as cluttered as what my mind feels like sometime. Another weekend is upon us and that would make it the second weekend that we've spent in the new house. Well third if you count the madness that was the weekend we actually moved everything in.

The second weekend we spent most of our time out of the house. Saturday morning we had to go look at furniture. Many furniture places later we found a set we like and a price that matched it. Then it was back on the road to go home and chill for a couple of hours before we were off again to watch Trinidad and Tobago beat Panama 2-0. WOHOOO!!!!! That was a great feeling. Stupendous!!! Was amazing to see a stadium wave last two complete revolutions. Even better was the whole stadium chanting the English football theme (in honour of one of the players whose mother is Trinidadian but Father is English.)

That was a glorious win. We picked up Pol's sister-in-law, T, after the game because she had exams on Monday and her school is near our house. Poor thing came over to study because where we are is very quiet. But we couldn't help checking up on her regularly and sitting with her and chatting. Then we approached her with a business proposal that had her thinking about more than the exam. On Sunday morning we probably spent all morning with her and then by lunch time after everyone ate and was sleepy, we decided we were going to see Star Wars Episode III: The Revenge of the Sith.

It was good!!! I mean I could see why some people would think it wasn't because the dialogue wasn't all that hot and some of the acting was poorly done. But in the case of Star Wars I didn't really go for acting or dialogue. I went for the special effects and the conclusion to a story that have captivated me for years. And that was exactly what I got. It was wonderful. Though I must say that I was severly disappointed in Natalie Portman's performance because she is a very talented actress but it didn't really show much in this movie.

Now it's the end of the week again. How did that happen? Will see what the weekend has in store for me.

Aches & Pains

2005-06-01T08:36:00.000-04:00

I have muscles, who knew. I have aches and pains in places I never knew existed. I feel broken in a hundred different places. Every movement is a chore and a chore that has to be done if I don't want to stay in bed all day and moan. This weekend was a long weekend for us down here in Trinidad. Thursday 26th was Corpus Christi which is a public holiday here. That day was spent packing the old house, that day wasn't too bad. The weekend, however, is a completely different story. Monday was the gracious "Indian" Arrival Day because we're only supposed to celebrate the fact that "Indians" arrived into this country. Hog-wash. I'm an Indian myself and I think it is all bullshit, but that's another story. So we had Saturday, Sunday and Monday to pack, clean and move. By the hook or the crook we were going to pack up the whole house and move, in 3 days.

Saturday was spent in the new place, having it blessed and cleaned. That was actually the fun part though it still required work. I went to sleep that night noticing quite a few muscles and bones that I never really paid attention to before. But nothing prepared me for Sunday and Monday. Sunday was a whirlwind and was spent packing all that wasn't packed in the old house. We started off with two cars transporting stuff to and from the old to the new place. Then Bel & I stayed in the old house to finish off, while the new kitchen was being painted and stuff was being unpacked. The thing was we were packing and the place was still looking full, it felt like I wasn't doing anything, though all my limbs were tired from packing, lifting boxes and moving them around.

All of that was taken care of, however, when the "army" came up. Bel's brothers (four of them) showed up in two vehicles. A Sorento and a Focus. So now we had the Sorento, the Focus and the Lancer to load up and send up the road. After the army past through I realised why it looked like nothing was being done. Because all the boxes were still there. When I took a glance before I closed the door I was shocked. All of that was done in the space of a few hours? But alas I also noticed how much still needed to be done.

We came back to the old house because the beds were still there that night. The boys were waiting till they had to pick up their sister, so they said they could make another trip. Lawd! Who tell them to say that. I think if they could take the beds that night as well they would have. My room was so empty and that was how it was supposed to be but wow. And it STILL had stuff in the house. Geez!

Monday morning at 4 I woke up with a splitting headache and cursed the fact that I didn't listen to Bel the day before about not eating the chocolate cup cakes. But dammit I needed those chocolate cup cakes and I was paying for it now. So I took medication and overslept by half an hour. I was a little afraid that Pol would have been a little upset with me because the truck was supposed to come early and we had so much to do before they came, but I needed a little more sleep. Thankfully she wasn't or at least she hid it very well if she was. The truck wasn't due for another hour, so we decided to make a trip up to the new house, off load some boxes and retrieve some stuff that we needed down in the new house to make it functional. (We still had to clean up after and the gloves etc was up in the new house. Lol.)

We made it back in time and definitely back in time for the tornado. Because the truck didn't come too long after we did. Which meant we had to run upstairs, dismantle the beds, take off the doors and the drawers from my wardrobe so it could be moved safely. All the while everything that had legs was being piled unto the truck from downstairs. It is amazing how much fit on a 1 ton truck. All the cars were being loaded for this first trip as well. This time around it was the truck, the Sorento, the Focus, the Lancer and Pol's mom's car (I forget the make.) All heading up the road. It was so cool! When they all left, Pol, her sister and I had to sit for a moment. But not too long because there was STILL more to do! Argh! Lol. Pol took downstairs and I trudged upstairs to make sure nothing stayed because nothing was supposed too.

I think they make garbage bags specifically for people like us. People who move around a lot. It is always amazing how much junk you find that you don't want but amazingly stayed with you for years. Thankfully when you're moving to a new place and you don't want junk there you find the courage and the strength to not even bat an eyelid when throwing away the offending object.

By the time the truck and cars came back for one last trip, 99% of the stuff was packed. I stayed back to vacuum and clean for two reasons: 1. I was already on a roll and in a groove and 2. there was no room for me in any of the vehicles LOL! But it was what I needed though. Because I got chance to process what I was doing. That I was packing up and getting ready to leave the first home I had in a long time. These people became my family. I have a family now, something I never felt I had because I was always away from everything and now I'm a part of one, and this was the house that it happened in. This was the house that I finally felt safe in. That the turmoil that I was going through a few years ago had a chance to settle and feel like there's a future and things to look forward to.

I had chance to sit in the living room after I had vacuumed all the rooms and made sure they were all empty. There were pains in my feet, my back and my arms but I wasn't feeling them because all I felt was sadness as this chapter of my life was closing and happiness with a touch of anxiety as a new chapter was beginning. I've always looked at moving that way. This is the seventh chapter I've closed. Chapter 8 is now beginning.

When it rains it pours...

2005-05-25T16:42:00.000-04:00

The last two weeks has been a whirlwind of activity. We had to look for another place to rent because our current place is falling apart from termites and the landlord finally thinks it is necessary to re-do the fixtures. But of course the story doesn't end there. Spurred on by the costs that he will be expending he decides he's going to spruce up the place and rent it out to ex-pats. So here we were (well Pol) scouring the papers for places to live. I looked at the classifieds and balked. I don't know how she does it but she has it down to an art. So much so that she knew what just came on the market and never hesitated to call immediately.

The other thing to hit us was Lady. She started to get frighteningly skinny but the other thing was her stomach started to swell. On her slim frame was the huge bulge that was just so out of character. Our first thought was "Damn OSCAR!!" thinking that she was pregnant. I wish now that she was pregnant because the Vet informed us that she retained about 10lbs of water and that could either be a kidney problem or a liver problem. In Lady's case the Vet is baffled. He says that he sees these symptoms at least twice a week in a wide range of dogs. In most of them they degrade so rapidly that they die within a few days and a week. We've put her on medication immediately and she started peeing, lost about 6lbs of water. Somehow that doesn't seem to be enough because after we took her off she started retaining water again.

The medication, however, is a very strong medication Lasix. We can't leave her on it for too long a period of time because that could cause even more complications. We took her back to the Vet and he still couldn't figure out what was wrong with her because the preliminary bloodwork seems to be fine. She has to do a in-depth blood work but it's been an absolute nightmare to get away from work. We all know that it is critical. He gave us some more medication to use at our discretion till we can get away.

We've been waking at 5am and going to bed by 9:30-10pm for the latest. Sometimes I feel like I'm a zombie. To top things off! We found a new place to live. It's a beautiful house. Truly gorgeous. This now means that we have to clean that house and have it blessed before we even move anything in. Then there's the process of moving stuff into the new place. Then of course cleaning where we are currently living making sure everything is as we met it. Phew! We almost didn't get it because it was between us and a single woman who happens to be a doctor but we got through, so it was meant for us. Thank goodness! I don't know what Pol would have done if we didn't get it. It really is a beautiful place.

So lots of work, puppy problems, new place to live...that's about all that's been going on. If Lady turns out to be alright then I can say that everything is good. She's still living so that's a blessing. Unless she's just a fighter. We just need to get her to eat now. I'm praying for her.

Cycling...

2005-05-12T06:53:00.000-04:00

Ok I'm just going to bring you up to speed because I'm way behind in updating and not really getting time to do it.

After Pol's birthday party, she left for Houston for 11 days. She's been back for awhile now (that's to tell you how behind I am in updating here.) I started working on the Monday after she left and it was so cool to finally have work to do. It's nice to be busy and know that when you've finished with the task that you are doing at the moment that there will be another to be completed. I miss that, I missed working and feeling like I've accomplished something.

My first order at hand was to get the office up and running, or I should say assisting Bel as much as I can. The task of getting the logo was extremely frustrating. I think we finally settled on a logo, but I think that's because we were just fed up and wanted the logo to be done. I like it but I still think that it could be better, but it's done. What I would like to be done is the website. That has been dragging on for the last month and I'm close to taking it from the current designers and having someone else do it. But we've already paid our money, so I'll sit tight for a few days. I fully intend to harass them though because we need a website.

In Trinidad The Beacon Insurance Company hosted West Indies vs. The World Cycling Series 2005. Phillips Promotions had a big hand to play in this series and I must thank them for opening my eyes to another wonderful competitive world out there. I've always grown up playing some sport or another and I've always truly appreciated the art which is team work (hell I strive on that kind of thing.) It was just beautiful to be able to witness something as amazing as what the series turned out to be. I was just reading up online and realised that this was just the 5th annual series. I'm looking forward to next year. The results for this year is here.

The effort and determination that these cyclists put out is truly inspiring. There were a few spills that took the wind out of my sails a bit but just seeing these riders get up and get back on their bike helped take off the edge. Especially the spill on the second day where the rider Glen Randall was unconscious when taken to the hospital but as soon as he came around he was looking for his bike and anxious to get back on.

Of course there were a few star boys on the track that relished on more than just the competition but the adulation as well. One in particular was Sebastian Donadio from Argentina who eventually took International Cyclist of the Series. He was cutey (it took it a while for him to grow on me though.) I was quite taken with another cyclist who I still haven't found out his name yet. He practically stretched to the point where he almost fell off his bike just to touch hands with a little boy who was stretching his hand out. I thought it was really sweet.

Of course Bel needed to tease me incessantly about me watching the cyclists. Till I just decided to play the part of the starry eyed fan. I mean yes they had nice legs and gorgeous butts, but there's just so much you could see before it doesn't even elicit a reaction. Plus my days of just daydreaming about someone I don't know have long been over, worse yet someone you can't have.

All in all it was a wonderful series.

Pol's Surprise Birthday

2005-05-07T17:05:00.000-04:00

I resigned from my job on Friday 22nd April which also happened to be Pol's Birthday. The reason I couldn't say what we had planned was because it was supposed to be a surprise birthday party. It was still a surprise but not quite what I had in mind. I left work at 2pm (lol after giving them no notice), but my argument for that was that my probation period was up for about a month and they hadn't given me any kind of heads up to whether they were making me permanent or not. The contract I signed initially didn't say anything past the probation period, so I was in the clear to resign without notice.

So I proceeded home to meet the guy who was going to help Bel and I clean up the yard and decorate. I was basically a mad woman that day because there was so much to do. It really was madness that day. When Bel showed up he had already passed in the grocery to get drinks and some cutters. Then we left to go to the grocery to get disposable plates, cups, ice cream & her birthday presents!! While there we saw these beautiful flower bouquets so we took the best ones and hurried home.

What happens though is we get stuck in traffic. It is 5pm and we're stuck in traffic!!! We decide to go another route to escape that traffic and end up in another set of traffic. So we decided to go up the highway instead of going over the flyover and guess what we end up in when we started down the old road?? TRAFFIC!! Pol is coming home in a little over an hour and a half and we haven't gotten back home to finish set up.

So Bel dropped me home because he still had to go get ice and order the food. (Yes we haven't ordered the food yet.) I proceeded to remove all the clothes hanging on the chairs, wash all the dishes, clear up all the tables, put up balloons only to get a call from Pol saying that she isn't waiting for the ride we organised for her because she wants to come home to relax! We told her that Bel was taking her out for dinner but she wanted to come home to relax before that. Sigh! So I slowed down. What's the point, she's going to come home early, none of the guests were going to be here before she arrived, so why bother. I was pretty upset and I knew she was more than tiffed with me because when she called me to tell me that (I should be happy that she did call me to tell me that lol, just thought of it that way.) I had told her that Bel said that she could relax and that I was enjoying the house to myself so wait awhile. Yikes!! Only because I knew what we were trying to do gave me the nerve to tell her something like that lol.

I called Bel to tell him about the new developments (I was quite upset. So I ranted for awhile just to let off the excess stress). We eventually got everything. Her mom brought her up with her brother and his girlfriend (so at least we had some guests.) She was still surprised, I thought we lost the opportunity but she was. She couldn't believe that we had done that. I was happy about that at least, but a bit concerned that she might be upset with us for lying about the special dinner, but she was equally (if not more) content with spending time with her family.

It was a lovely evening. She was very happy with the food, the atmosphere, even the puppies behaved (once we kept close eye on their proximity to the food table. The flowers looked wonderful and so did the cake. What really got her though were the presents. Some she guessed but the majority she was very surprised. :D

We (well Bel bought her a silver jewelry set because she wanted to fill out her silver collection.) I bought her a Jane Austen Collection. Plus we got her the new 3 Doors Down CD (that really surprised her because she didn't tell anyone.) Unbeknownst to her that I was marking it since I found out last year when it was going to be released. lol. All in all it was a wonderful night. As you can tell with her comment to a previous post I made.
I'm just glad. I wanted it to be every bit as special as the surprise birthday party she had thrown for me, and it seemed to have been.

I forgot to take a before picture of the table with uneaten food. But it's a picture nonetheless!

The cake!

Hello Houston!!

2005-05-05T07:12:00.000-04:00

Good Morning! Pol is home safe, thank you so much for taking care of her! I hope to post soon. Just been real busy. Will take time out and write down all that happened, still have o tell you all about the surprise birthday party we had planned for Pol. Enjoy your day and rest of your week. Have a great weekend!

Ok they don't suck...

2005-05-04T09:07:00.000-04:00

... because I mean it is Google and I love Google I do. I really do. Just that it isn't totally reliable (Blogger that is!) Google and Gmail are BEAUTIFUL. I'm still looking around though. Maybe I'll just have two blogs. That shouldn't be too bad. Still have lots to talk about. LOTS! Will do when I have some more time. My new job is great that way, I have a ton of work to keep me busy. YAY!

Important Day

2005-04-22T11:46:00.000-04:00

The net at home is down again. Another mixup with our favourite Telephone company. They cut us even though the bill isn't yet due, I don't understand it. But hopefully by next week that would be sorted out. So I won't be able to post till monday (like I post on weekends.) But I do have best intentions and then I get busy.

I have my resignation letter in hand and all I'm waiting for is for the boss to come into the office. Sigh. First I wake up with a splitting headache around 1am, took medication and needed to sleep a little more this morning which meant we left home late. Today is Pol's Bday and we're hoping that all goes well. Will explain a little more at a later time. She is also going to Houston on Sunday and I'm missing here already.

So I'm here twiddling my thumbs waiting anxiously. Because I also want to leave here early so that I can go shop for Pol's present. Yeah, I'm a last minute kind of gal. But hey, I remembered this morning that today was her birthday. I didn't remember before and after and forget on the day like I usually do.

Waiting, waiting, waiting. sigh.....

Congratulations Mariah!

2005-04-20T13:17:00.000-04:00

Mariah's "The Emancipation of Mimi" debuts at #1 on the Billboard Hot 200 Albums Chart with an All-time career-high first week sales of 403,000!

She's done it again. At Last.

"The Emancipation of Mimi" sets the following records for Mariah:
- 5th album to top the Billboard 200
- 3rd album to debut at #1 on the Billboard 200
- biggest opening week sales for a Mariah album ever

Ink-Pad

2005-04-19T11:32:00.000-04:00

I just had an altercation with the Ink Bottle and the Ink Pad. For some reason the bottle was particularly hard to open and what do I do? I completely forget the hard earned lessons of trying to get pepper out of the pepper bottle, trying so hard that too much comes out. Well basically the same thing happened. I finally get the top to open and what does it do? It splashes everywhere! SPLASH! SPLASH! lol. Thank goodness it stayed away from the LCD monitors and it was just my hands and the telephone. Phew! I'm also wearing a very light blue shirt, so I got away there. Sigh. My hands are all inky. Oh and yeah the colour of the ink is Black. Go ahead and laugh at me, I would.

Oscar

2005-04-19T09:38:00.000-04:00

For the past few days Oscar has been wheezing/coughing/making funny noises in his throat. When he started I thought it was just him trying to cough back up some bad grass that he ate. However, when he started making the sound regularly and the past few nights there weren't 5 minutes that went by that he wasn't making the noises, I was a little concerned. We all were actually. This morning was the second morning I put food down and he just looked at it and walked away. Some doggie biscuits were daintily eaten, so I didn't worry about it too much.

Bel took him to the Vet this morning though. Thank goodness. Because it turns out our baby Oscar just has an upper respiratory infection, in layman terms he has a sore throat. A sore throat! I've never heard of a dog having a sore throat before, far less to hear a dog cough prolongingly just like a human being. Poor Osky-Wusky has a fever as well. Well Bel can't stop laughing at the whole idea. I on the other hand I'm a bit relieved that it isn't anything drastically serious, but a Flu! Shaking my head at the insanity of it. He even has medication to take.

No wonder he was looking so depressed, because he hasn't been sleeping, because he's been up all night for the past two nights coughing. Can't wait to go home and hug him up. Poor baby. The Vet was very surprised (so I was told, I had to go to work so I couldn't go with him) at how well behaved he was. Well I'm not, if I was up for 2 nights straight, have a fever, coughing and have a sore throat, I'd lie down quite calmly on the table and wait to die. LOL! But he'll be alright in about 10 days. Will just have to make sure he has clean water, plenty food (soft food so he could swallow.)

At least he's going to be ok, don't need to worry too much anymore. Will buy him some corned beef so that it will be easier to swallow. He was always so over enthusiastic and can't wait to jump all over you, and is kind of annoying some times. But I only realised this morning when I had to walk away from him and get into the car, how much I missed him trying to stand up and hug you up. I missed him running to the gate, anxiously waiting for me to open the gate and step inside so he could jump all over me. He'll be his usual self soon enough and I'll wish all over again that he would stop trying to bowl me over.

This was exactly how sad and serious he's been looking.

Hopefully soon he'll be looking like this again...

Or vociferously lett us know how he's feeling.

I've Learned

2005-04-15T15:08:00.000-04:00

I got this from Gina...I know that a lot of people probably read this already but I thought it was cool. Here it is...

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. (Hee hee one can only hope.)

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes. (Sigh, so true)

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it. (Pol you don't need to say anything anymore lol, this is me.)

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big wiener or huge boobs.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think. (Thank goodness!)

I've learned that you can keep puking long after you think you're finished. (THIS I HAVE PERSONAL EXPERIENCE OF!!)

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place. (Lol, as long as it is not my money he looking at, I'll be fine.)

I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones who do.

I've learned that we don't have to ditch bad friends, because their dysfunction makes us feel better about ourselves.

I've learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get arrested and end up
in the local paper.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.

I've learned to say "F--- 'em if they can't take a joke" in 6 languages. (I still have to learn to do this, that might be pretty handy to know.)

I'm United Nations LOL!

2005-04-13T14:35:00.000-04:00

You're
the United Nations!

Most people think you're ineffective, but you are trying to
completely save the world from itself, so there's always going to be a long
way to go. You're always the one trying to get friends to talk to each
other, enemies to talk to each other, anyone who can to just talk instead of
beating each other about the head and torso. Sometimes it works and sometimes
it doesn't, and you get very schizophrenic as a result. But your heart
is in the right place, and sometimes also in New York.
Take the Country
Quiz at the Blue Pyramid

Have a Great Day!

2005-04-13T10:09:00.000-04:00

I truly hope everyone has a good day today. It's the middle of the week, so Friday is not so far away. So keep your chin up, dig in to work and rejoice in the fact that the weekend is almost here. Thank God.

Today so far.

2005-04-12T12:26:00.000-04:00

This morning was there was a little difficulty in getting off the bed, however, I decided to lie down again for about 5 minutes without the fan and pillows, surprisingly I didn't fall asleep, I just tried to rest mentally instead of physically (don't ask me how I did that) and it worked. When I got off the bed before the last alarm I re-set went off, I was awake! Usually the cold water in the shower wakes me up but it just put the finishing touches this time.

Twas a little difficult waking up Bel this morning but that's because he hasn't been getting much sleep lately. I felt extremely sorry for him, but there was nothing I could do. It was either nag or he'll be stuck in traffic. I don't think I nagged too much.

Work is pretty much boring as usual. One new thing though was being on hold with Quickbooks. That was the only thing for today that I know I'll remember. I think it was just that time though, because when I called again a little later I got through immediately. But it was terribly, nothing compared to TSTT though. So that I should be grateful for.

I'll be walking home later today and I'm actually looking forward to it. I've walked home (20 minutes walk) 4 days in a row now and I feel significantly better already. I think my circulation has gotten the jumpstart it's been begging me for because I'm not as cold as I am usually. I can actually sit in the air conditioned room and feel cool, instead of freezing. Maybe there's hope I'll be a normal warm blooded person after all.

All good things come to those who wait

2005-04-11T09:00:00.000-04:00

So I'm waiting patiently! Lol. Letter still needs to be handed in but I'm not going to worry about that anymore. When it happens I'll take care of it.

I've had a pretty lazy weekend. Fell asleep during the day on both Saturday and Sunday. Catching up on some much needed sleep. Played pool on Saturday night after we got up. We went to a restaurant in Chaguanas, it is either Kampo or Campo, I can't remember. But the service was terrible, we were seated and forgotten about, after half an hour we went for our waiter and almost an hour later we received our food. The food was delicious, or at least I thought so, but it could have been because I was starving by that time and I just wanted to get food into me. So I can't say for certain if it really tasted wonderful or if it was my stomach accepting anything it got.

At the moment this is how I feel:

It was another early morning for me this morning and I got up fine, got to work at 6:15am and felt AWAKE! Now it is 1:09pm, I'm full and sleepy. There is a extremely couch in the lobby area that is just singing my name and trying to lure me over. But I dare not or I'd fall fast asleep. So that's another thing I'm waiting for to go home and rest. I like waking up early, but it can be un-rewarding when I get here and there's nothing to do. But I'll survive. Just one more week to go I guess. I can't see events happening any later than this week. YAY!

Rory from Gilmore Girls

2005-04-11T08:35:00.000-04:00

I saw the trailer for Sin City this weekend and was shocked to see Rory from Gilmore Girls in it. I wanted to see the movie before I realised this, but now I can't wait to see it. I just can't imagine goody goody Rory in this movie.

Alexis Bledel as Becky in Sin City

Concept art done by Frank Miller for Sin City.

CONGRATULATIONS O!

2005-04-08T16:02:00.000-04:00

One of my very best friends just got her acceptance letter to go to Lehigh University in Pennsylvania. I just wanted to say CONGRATULATIONS! I hope it is everything you wish it to be. I'm very happy for you and proud of you.

Something of Importance

2005-04-07T09:50:00.000-04:00

I don't know about you but the above link disturbed me greatly while I was reading it. I think that it is wrong that this is going on and I agree with Trinimuse that we shouldn't be surprised because we see it as plain as day every day and still do nothing. I wanted to link to this post because I'm thinking that if it was here and on his blog we could double the amount of people who see it. I think Child Prostitution is a very serious issue. Something that I haven't thought about since the last time I read about it, mainly because I got so comfortable (like everyone else) with my own life. If it wasn't happening around me maybe it doesn't exist. Or at least so we seem to think.

But it's happening everywhere and as usual we do nothing about it because it has nothing to do with us. I don't know what it is we can do. But I'm hoping that if enough people are exposed to the fact that it is happening here and not only in the so-called First World countries, maybe something could happen to help improve this injustice. I'm going to have to do some more research on this to find out why our government have nothing in place for these things. If they did, it's not working for a 9-year old girl to be raped repeatedly and no one said anything. Why did the court leave her with the mother when they removed all 14 children already. Why was the 14 removed? Something was wrong with the mother? Really?? So then why the hell they would leave that one girl in the custody of the mother? If that's not sentencing someone to their fate, I don't know what is.

Body Painting

2005-04-07T07:41:00.000-04:00

I found this on Pimme's site, I thought it was cool. Check out the link above. Most guys would enjoy this tremendously, well at least they would have enjoyed putting the paint on these models.

Microsoft Mandatory Download of SP2

2005-04-06T15:07:00.000-04:00

The automatic downloading of SP2 could catch a large number of IT directors unawares. A survey published last week by supplier AssetMetrix shows that just 24 percent of users of U.S. corporate PCs running XP have voluntarily installed SP2.

So ready or not, on Tuesday, “un-patched” boxes will have SP2 downloaded to their networks and computers, but, what happens after that?

The upgrade day, as the second Tuesday of the month, is the same day that Microsoft is scheduling to release its monthly patches.

Sigh. I understand what they're saying that we need to stop griping about security flaws if we not downloading a major service pack that they've issued. But at the same time, they're taking away our free will of what we want on our machines. Taking away the option to download it or not. I don't see how that could be right.

Busy Day

2005-04-05T18:12:00.000-04:00

Resignation letter will be handed in on Friday. Can't do it earlier because the boss is going to be offshore. WAHHH!! But it would be rather rude and non-sensical to give it to the woman at work because she's not the boss even though she feels that she is and at times seems like she very well is. Apparently (thanks to the heads up from my friends at work) she pulled the boss and the marketing manager across and demanded that they get her an assistant, who as far as I know supposed to be me. That's the whole reason they hired me in the first place. The Marketing guy put her in her place though, how can I help her if she doesn't let me or at least give me some kind of indication that she knows that is what I am here to do. But enough of her, will be rid of that particular headache soon.

I had an appointment with the US Embassy this morning for my US Visa and have been declined. Reason: I have no ties to Trinidad that would make them comfortable enough. Meaning I have no boyfriend/husband and own no property. That in no way means I'm going to find somebody and settle down just to go to the states. Will tackle that problem a little later. How do you prove to people that you like you own country? As far as I'm concerned there is no place like home. My whole family is here geez lol.

When I got there, there was a line of people waiting outside. I don't understand because they go by appointments now. It doesn't make sense being there at 6 in the morning if your appointment is after 8. Mine was at 8:30 and I got out of there by 10. The precautions that they took was astonishing. The woman in front of me was asked to take a sip out of her water bottle and out of the bottle of soft drink that she had, her baby carriage was searched extensively in addition to her baby bag. I knew I had nothing to worry about but I was uncomfortable because I don't like any and anybody touching my stuff. But they went through my bag anyway, I was asked to use my lip balm and to spread an anti-toothache gel on the back of my hand to make sure that it wasn't a weapon of some sort. The men had to raise their pants to above their knees, not that I'm complaining but what about the women? Aren't we as easily capable of hiding weapons on our legs? I just thought that if you're going to do it for one, do it for all. Serious mistake there, but of course things are only rectified when something wrong happens. Hope nothing does because things are tough as it is.

My day only got better though. Went back to Bel's office as it was nearby. Pol had come up with us, and Bel put us to work, so to speak. We were pretty anxious to busy our hands anyway. We had an appointment to see a house this afternoon so we left the office early and they decided to take me to see where they used to live before since we had some time to kill. On the way we stopped by one of our cousins. He runs a horse ranch and I was blown away. I've always loved horses and reading about them, but it was truly breathtaking. They're beautiful and HUGE! I mean I've seen them in movies and read so much about them in books, but to see them in person was something I never truly imagined would happen.

I wanted to forget my life as I knew it and start working on the farm, if I had to shovel horse shit all day just to be near them I would have. It was an amazing experience. My cousin told me that I could come ride (when I asked if I could). I can't wait!

We had to leave eventually though because we didn't want the lady to reach there and have her waiting. When we got there however, we weren't prepared for what we saw. So far all the places we've seen were nice in their own respects but nothing stood out and grabbed us. This house gobled us up like a monster and didn't want to reliquish it's hold on our hearts. It's more than we budgeted for, but I'm willing to pay more just keep that house. It had space in all the rooms, most of the other houses were cramped and a bit suffocating. Most importantly I could see us living there, not just merely taking up space somewhere waiting till we found the perfect place. I'm not saying it's the perfect place, no where is going to be perfect.

But it was ideal for us and for the puppies. They would have a lot of space to run free and hopefully be entertained enough to not want to rip things to pieces. There were fruit trees surrounding the house, mangos, plums, cashew and many more. Which meant that Pol and I might actually be able to salvage some mangos before Lady had a chance to get her paws on them. There'd be enough for all of us. However, all of this can't be put into place just yet, too many things have to be done before, but I can't help but envision us in the house and see things in its place. Trying desperately not to expend too much thought on it, but it's already a little too late.

By the time we left we had all made up our minds, it was just to work out the financials and make all the allowances and justifications in our brains to keep the house. We were all hyped by the time we got home even though I had a headache, but we couldn't help but talk and talk and talk about it. Pol has to call them to find out if the rent can be lowered and if we could retain it on the deposit till we make up our minds for sure. I hope we get favourable results. Just writing about it now has me excited all over again.

My Week

2005-04-04T09:19:00.001-04:00

My big news for this week is that I'll be handing in my resignation letter on Wednesday. I was supposed to hand it in this morning but circumstances are leading to me handing it in on Wednesday instead. Which is a good thing because the boss isn't even here, and I want to give it to him not anyone else. Tomorrow I have an interview with the US Embassy for my US Visa. I should start working on my Canadian Visa as well because my cousin in Canada is getting married in May. Damn, that's next month. Geez, I don't think I'll get it on time.

The other thing that is happening is the landlady will be coming over to visit the house with the owner of the house. Most likely they'll be asking us to leave because they want to rent the place out to Ex-Pats! That I am sad about because I like where we are right now. Pol has been scouring the classifieds looking for somewhere that would be suitable for us and everywhere is so expensive. Plus we have to find somewhere that would allow us dogs, that's the tricky part.

Hopefully if all goes well I'll be starting work in my new job on Monday next week. Hopefully.

Beautiful Google & Gmail

2005-04-01T15:41:00.000-04:00

What a wonderful All Fool's Day this is! Google's Gmail is offering 2GB of storage space! Yes I know I'm quite late with this, especially since I checked my gmail account around 5:30am and saw the wonderful news. But I was waiting for more news about it. I found a few sites that was of great interest. This one was hilarious because it was how I felt. I have all respect and gratuity towards Yahoo, because there was a point in time where it was my saving grace when it came to email storage space. But I just thought it was just that all these supposed free email providers were being made to run for their money. I agree with Gmail (until the catch is revealed because I'm forever a cynic) that Email storage should be free.

I think it is a marvelous idea and they have my loyalty for making good on promises so far. Though it was speculated that Gmail was going to become available today, that hasn't come to pass. It is still by invites only. But that's still alright by me.

Thanks Google!

Blogger's Bugging

2005-04-01T14:46:00.000-04:00

Excuse the double entry, was getting errors editing the first "Alcohol" post. Deleting the first one was successful in the Maintenance page, however, it is still showing up when I preview but no longer in the Maintenance area. I guess eventually it will refresh and stop being displayed twice. Hopefully!

Alcohol

2005-04-01T14:22:00.001-04:00

I've made up my mind. I'm not going to drink alcohol again. I survived Lent without it and felt like I almost died when I drank it afterwards. I think I can live without it. The only time I used to drink it in the first place was if we had get togethers or went out to lime. But there are fruit punches, soft drinks and water. Good substitutes.

Wednesday night has had a significant impact on my life. I don't know if I'm saying all of this because the memories are still fresh in my head and the naseau is still fresh in my stomach. But I sat down in the yard and didn't care whether the dogs jumped all over me, I laid down in the middle of the dining room because sitting down was no longer comfortable and was unable to make it upstairs on my own. Bel had to practically carry me up the stairs and help me get comfortable enough to lie down on my bed. Soon enough I was spilling my guts.

I always used to wonder why someone would get so plastered and realise that you don't see it coming. I mean it was only 3 drinks, I'm appalled that I got into that state after just 3 drinks.

I'm still feeling like I want to throw up and the pounding in my head comes and goes. Why, WHY!!!

So that's the reason behind my decision. I just want to stop feeling the way I'm feeling right now and have no desire to feel how I felt Wednesday night into Thursday during the day, ever again.

Zuma

2005-04-01T07:26:00.000-04:00

I finished Zuma last night, quite disappointed though, because now it's done. But that's how it always is when you've finished something that seemed to take forever. It was nice though that there was a hidden level then a surprise level after that. But it's done. Need to find something else to do.

Hopefully by Monday I'll have great news to write about. I want to make sure it happens first before I say anything. If all goes well I won't have to worry about finding something to do, because I'll have too much to do. But I can't wait!

Hope everyone has a SAFE but enjoyable weekend. To Rachel, keep it up, I know it's not easy but you'll get through this.

Football

2005-03-31T20:59:00.000-04:00

I never thought I'd actually have something to post on Football, because that is one of the sports I haven't played since I was 7 years old. My experience with football was playing in the giant hallway of my cousin who was obsessed with football, his sister and I were basically his playmates till he got old enough to play with the other boys in the area. Of course once that happened he basically had no use for us. But that wasn't before he almost removed my head with the football that he kicked in my direction. Despite all the bruises and the blue marks it used to be quite enjoyable, then I grew up and started to take pain a little more seriously.

That aside, the football match between Trinidad and Costa Rica as one of the World Cup Qualifying matches made me recognise something. That carnival isn't the only time when Trinidad as a country is truly unified. Regardless of everyone's individual opinions of the team, the coach and the politics that surrounds international football (scratch that any football), the one thing that rang true on Wednesday was that we were united once more.

We were sitting in the uncovered stands which is the prime area to get the real feel of the game. I sat in the covered stands last time but the only real advantage to that was not being smack in the middle of the sun's angry glare. However, I realised that you miss all the fun, not just seeing the game but getting all the comments from the spectators sitting all around you. It was very entertaining seeing guys get up and curse the field or just basically quarrel amongst themselves.

The thing is (like carnival) it was the only other time I've seen all races not matter or the fact that you don't know the person sitting or standing next to you not matter either. I was able to hear someone behind me make an outrageous but funny comment and reflexively spin around to laugh at it and they weren't offended that I overheard. Or Bel turning around to add a comment to a previous comment made by the same people behind us and get favourable responses. These are strangers, people we don't know, who ordinarily will pass us straight on the road. However, Trinidad isn't that bad. If I was in trouble 9 our of 10 people would stop to help me depending on the area of course. I mean you don't want to be in trouble in a high crime area LOL.

But it was still nice to see us being bonded by something else other than Carnival. Regardless of our standings in the World Cup and the remaining chances of getting there, it's still fun to support your national team and they actually showed their skill out there on Wednesday. They were amazing! I felt proud to be a Trini all over again. We drew and that was a major victory considering we lost to Guatemala 5-1!!

We went to celebrate after at Smokey and Bunty's in St. James. It was a highly enjoyable time but a disaster of catastrophic proportions! Keep in mind for Lent I gave up drinking, so ordinarily 3 rum and cokes would be nothing, but after a cleansing period of 40 days, I was very susceptible to the alcohol. It was the worst night of my life. I have never been that drunk before and it was one of those moments in my life I refuse to repeat EVER! Not only did I not have a preference to where I was lying down, I THREW UP FOUR TIMES!!! That has never happened. Today I've been perspiring alcohol! YUCK!! It was the most uncomfortable night of my life, this ball of pain on the left hand side of my head, behind my eye and this nasty feeling in my stomach. Sigh.

I didn't go to work today and wasn't able to eat or drink anything till 4 this evening. But I'm all better now. That was one kind of adventure. I change my mind I don't mind being frustrated and bored. I would choose that any day of the week over drinking too much (though 3 rum and cokes isn't much) and feeling that yucky.

Another Morning

2005-03-29T06:53:00.000-04:00

I'm at work, got here at 6:07am. Tomorrow is another holiday and I hope to God that tomorrow is not a repeat of yesterday because I think I'll be the first person to die of boredom. I'm just glad yesterday is over.

Today should be interesting because we had a staff meeting on Thursday before the long weekend. Basically the FCW (female co-worker) was trying to stir up trouble. I'm not worried about that because I have my plans and I'm sticking to them. However, it's still not pleasing to have to deal with her. But such is life and there are always going to be people that you don't want to deal with and scenarios that you wish you weren't in. So it's about time I suck it in and just live with the fact that I'm never going to be able to have things exactly the way I want them.

Nothing is ever going to be perfect and that's that. I went by my parents this weekend and as usual I got home feeling like I've been mentally and emotionally flogged. My father is perpetually trying to get me to either spend more time with him and my brother, or wants advice and help on dealing with my brother and then just turns around and do what he wants. Everyone is telling me that is a sensitive area, but my opinion is that I don't think that the formative years of my brother being allowed to do what he wants and speak to you how he wants, can be undone. Only as he gets older will he see if he turns into a respectful adolescent unless my dad finally puts his foot down in a manner that makes sense.

I'm just tired and a little emotionally drained I guess. But whatever. Life goes on.

Horrible day

2005-03-28T19:14:00.000-04:00

Today has got to be one of the worst days I've spent in a very long time. Mostly because I was very bored and there was absolutely nothing to do. I've complained bitterly about being at work and not having anything to do. Complaining because my theory was I could be at home doing something more productive or having more luck doing nothing at home. Such is not the case. At least when I was in work being bored out of my mind I had home to look forward to. When you're at home and there's nothing to do there's nothing to look forward to. I actually caught myself waiting anxiously for 10pm so that I can just go to sleep and wake up and have something to do the next day.

Right now I am at the brink of losing all restraint. Or I should say that I am no longer angry or bitter, I'm just utterly depressed. I should just take some potent medication and go sleep till morning or something.

So frigging bored. Why does Trinidad have to have so many holidays anyway?

So Frigging Bored

2005-03-28T14:05:00.000-04:00

ARGGGGHH!! M..U..S..T....F..I..N..D....S..O..M..E..T..H..I..N..G....T..O....D..O..!!!!!

Please Dear God, Let there be something to do!!

Yahoo vs Google

2005-03-23T12:03:00.000-04:00

The world wide Yahoo Mail storage upgrade will start in April and will take about two weeks to complete. GMail is also expect to go fully public on April 1 only one year to the day since its launch. The new storage feature will be offered globally to all Yahoo members, in multiple languages. GMail's service is currently only available as an English language service.

Yahoo is also beefing up the free Yahoo Mail services anti-virus capabilities by allowing users to clean infected attachments. This feature was previously only available to subscribers of Yahoo's fee-based web mail service, which is called Yahoo Mail Plus and costs US$19.95 per year. Yahoo Mail Plus offers subscribers 2GB of inbox storage along with other features not available to free users.

Ok now that I've gotten the public announcement out of me. I know everyone reads the news. But I just think this was something I needed to post about seeing that I had recently gotten a GMail account. So far the only one up that Yahoo has is that they are enlisting Norton to help them with cleaning infected attachments. That is also a very big deal because with GMail they don't have a anti-virus program. The only thing that they've been adamant of is not allowing an executable file to be sent. Which is good and bad. Good because a lot (not all) of viruses will be stopped in their tracks. Bad because not all executable files are viruses. I'm in IT so I tend to store my executables in my inbox so that no matter where I am or which machine I'm using if I need to make my stay at that computer comfortable, I would download which ever program I have stored. Be it Winamp or the free trial of Winzip, stuff like that. But those things are really minor compared to making sure that viruses don't have the opportunity to run rampant.

What Google has over Yahoo though is how the emails are presented and how they put stuff in folders. Your emails look like conversations (which is what GMail calls it). Whatever email you send out and is replied to, it shows up in your inbox with your message minimized right above the reply. So even if the recipient doesn't leave your original email in their message you know what they're referring too. In addition if you've had more than one reply and response from both you and the recipient, it all shows up as one email in your inbox with the number of responses in brackets. When you click on that only the latest conversation (email) is expanded, the others are all compacted but right there for easy reference. Therefore you can always keep track of what was said and when.

The other neat feature is what they call labels but what we know as folders. You label each message e.g. personal, friends, family, business etc. Whenever you click on any of the labels it shows you all the messages that you've put under that particular label. When you don't want to see those emails in your inbox anymore as long as you've labeled it you can simply select it to be archived and you'll only see it in the labeled section. What's different with this, is that you can have multiple labels, so if you know an email has two categories and you want to put it in both in case you only remember one out of the two categories, you can give it too labels, and it will show up in both.

Google has also incorporated their search capabilities into GMail. Whether all I remember is the subject of the email, the person it came from, the person it was sent to, or even part of the body of the email, all I have to do is type that into the search field and all the emails that are relevant to those keywords are displayed. Therefore losing emails is pretty much a non-issue. I've experimented with this extensively and it is super cool. It's just like Google in this instant. If I search a person's name I get every email ever sent and received to and from that person. If I refine my search somewhat and put some of the words I remember being in that email, it narrows it down for me.

One of my favourite features that they've integrated that works much better here is the filters. I can set a filter so that as soon as an email comes into my inbox it can be labeled "Family" immediately by selecting all the addresses I want under that label. Another of my favourite features would be the contacts field. Any address you send an email to or receive an email from is automatically added to the contacts field. That I love. You can edit it afterwards and add multiple email addresses to one name (which would help with the filter feature I'd imagine, haven't quite experimented that far yet) etc. There are many more tidbits here and there but those are the major differences.

As you can tell GMail has been the latest toy that I've been playing around with it and I'm not fed up of it yet. It may still be in the beta phase but it works just wonderfully. I can't wait for it to be released and to see what else they can think of to make it better if that's possible. So to wrap up I don't care that Yahoo has Norton (though I adore Norton, they got me out a lot of binds) but I would rather not get infected attachments in the first place. So what if it is only available in English at the moment, if Yahoo goes the 1Gb way then GMail can stay as English only if they wish and not get the kind of publicity that Hotmail and Yahoo has gotten (I still can't believe the amount of Junk Mail I accumulate when I haven't even used my hotmail addie much around the web). So I think that the least users the better the security against viruses and Spam will be!

All in all it's just beautiful. Emailing will never be the same. I can guarantee it.

WHAT THE HELL!?!?!?

2005-03-23T11:30:00.000-04:00

Jeanette's Taxidermy proudly introduces Pet Pillows as an alternative way to remember your pet. Each pet pillow is hand made from the fur of your pet and made into a pillow that you can display. On one side of the pillow is your pet's fur and the other side of the pillow is your choice of fabric. These soft, huggable pillows are a great way to enjoy your cherished pet and is an inexpensive alternitave to taxidermy.

It's too gross please someone explain this madness to me!!

Hypocrites

2005-03-22T09:41:00.000-04:00

The reason for the Title of this post is my female co-worker (FCW). I know that this particular post would come off as very familiar with most people out there.

My FCW apparently lent out a piece of stock to a company last year and didn't do the proper paperwork (nothing new there) and now that they trying to find it and can't, she's blaming everyone else in sight in addition to picking faults on everyone employee. She actually had the nerve to be sarcastic with me this morning, which meant I said goodbye immediately to ms-nice-woman personality. She couldn't handle it and is trying to be personable with me now. But f@#k that. She try to frame me last week and now she want to be bitchy well then handle the consequences of it now.

The other part that irritated me and made me realise that she has several personalities is the fact that she would be on a foreign call and be super cotton candy sweet and then hand up the phone and exclaim BITCH!

What the hell? Slamming drawers and keeping an icy aura around her. It's most irritating. Then tomorrow when she realise she's not making an impact she'll bring currants roll and the cotton candy sweet attitude to try and make up. It's so sickening. I just needed to vent.

I CAN POST!!

2005-03-21T14:26:00.000-04:00

My posts are actually going through like they used to, in seconds! I must post everything in sight. I've missed pressing publish and see the publish status screen show up, instead of a pop up error message saying the operation has timed out. It's BEAUTIFUL!

Hello everyone, I've missed you all so much. :D

My weekend was good, went to a flower show and it was good. I got so many things about what I want to do with my garden when I do have my own home and garden. The cactuses (yes that is the word I found lots of sites online for it, alright that doesn't make it right but blogger's spell check didn't show it as wrong.) are really nice, I want to have one for my desk at work, they're cute and very low maintenance.

We also bought two chia pets where you just have to place the doll shaped plant? into water and groomable grass would grow. It's cute. That is for my desk at work as well.

Sunday was a lazy day and smoldering. Took us a few hours to persuade our bodies to leave the house to make some groceries for the Sunday Meal. Pol made Calalloo & Crab, Rice, Fried Flying Fish, Baked Potato with Cheese & Olives and Salad with Pol's Famous Salad Dressing. It was a sight to see, the three of us trying to get off the table.

Later we played Monopoly. Sigh, it was a recipe for a disaster because there were three strong-willed and HIGHLY competitive players playing against each other. I lost because of not standing up to the negotiation for property. I gave in and got a bit run over in the end. But it was still good for the soul, actually learnt to not get upset, though Pol and Bel were feeling bad, even though I TRIED to get them to not feel bad. But that's just because they love me plenty. Love you guys plenty too!

Anyway it is 2:43pm and Bel is picking me up from work so I get to reach home EARLY! YAY! Can't wait. Looking to go buy a 3D Puzzle. We have to finish the Lord of the Rings Collection. So far we've done Minas Tirith. We have Hobbiton, Golden Hall - Edoras and Orthanc - Isengard to do. Hopefully I'll get one of them later.

Going to try and find something to do now.

Bored

2005-03-21T14:21:00.000-04:00

Garfield has all the fun!

Sea levels likely to rise 25cm this century

2005-03-18T11:22:00.000-04:00

No matter what happens, sea levels and temperatures are going to rise over the next century, according to a pair of reports out of the National Center for Atmospheric Research.

Sigh. Things are only going to get worse.

"That is an extreme lower bound of what might happen," Wigley said. "More likely, the sea level rise will be considerably greater."

Check out the article if you're so inclined. It isn't much more of what we don't know already or have been expecting. But it's very sad. That we've abused this place as much as we have.

KIDNAP TORTURE

2005-03-17T15:08:00.001-04:00

So screamed the front page title on the Trinidad Express, one of the leading newspapers in my fine country. I am not one to actively pick up a newspaper. But I was passing by a co-worker's desk and the title was yelling at me. I needed to know exactly what was going on.

Torturing the mothers and wives of our hard-working business people will destroy the dream we have of a great society. Beating and locking children in cars will destroy initiative and jobs...drive away our captains and our entrepreneurs of all races...and force the middle class to flee and create a permanent and lasting poverty that no amount of oil and gas, no amount of social programmes will be able to solve.

This particular excerpt was one of the paragraphs that stayed with me because it was so true. How is it that we expect to be able to move forward when the same citizens who are complaining about poverty, are part of the horrible people who make up the group who are brining down the country, by the desire to have what is not theirs instead of working for it like every other decent person in this world.

Another accurate statement made by Gregory Aboud, President of the Downtown Owners and Merchants Association:

He said citizens have been losing hope that anything can be done, and warned that "allowing success to be the criteria by which persons are selected for beatings and torture will not only destroy initiative and employment...but it will discourage those who want to go into business at a time when we need people to go into business".

I think it's about time that the people of Trinidad and Tobago stop sitting quietly and taking this abuse. Because it is not being done only to the individuals who are being harmed physically at the present, it is breaking down the spirit of the people of this fair nation which makes Trinidad and Tobago the glorious place that it is.

My 3 year old baby cousin

2005-03-17T13:20:00.000-04:00

This next post is dedicated to him because he is just too adorable.

My aunt (his mom) emailed me today and told me that he has started asking Jesus to bless Uncle Bel, Aunty Pol and Velvet every night when he is praying. Now if that isn't just cavity sweet I don't know what is. And he's only 3. Mind you he is a very intelligent 3 year old. He speaks perfect english and is quite the little gentlemen. Especially when he's getting accustomed to you and he's trying to win you over with his charms.

When he's running away from someone, because they're tickling him or playing that they're the monster and he has to run, he runs straight into his mom or dad's arms and yells "MOMMY, DADDY, SAVE ME!!!" In the cutest voice you will ever hear.

Too sweet!!!

I miss him plenty. Especially after I got the email. I need to go see him and his baby brother who isn't a year yet. The only thing is, when I do go see them, I always leave with my heart very heavy, because they are so loving and adorable that I can't help but want one of my own. Sigh.

In a few years time. Just a few years.

Blogger seems to be back up...

2005-03-16T17:48:00.000-04:00

...knock on wood. Because I'm able to edit my posts and didn't take me forever to get to the new post page.

I'm home, I've had my bath and I'm now in front of my machine. Why you make ask? Because I'm not sleepy anymore!! Well I am but not sleepy enough to go to sleep till the sun goes down some more so this place could cool off.

Try sleeping in a sauna! Ok my room isn't that bad, it's just bleeding hot at the moment!

Going to play some Yahoo games to pass the time. Tried out Insaniquarium today and it has caught my interest. Yes I know I am most idle. That happens when I'm sleep deprived and can't sleep just yet. See Ya!!

Trying to post

2005-03-16T15:48:00.000-04:00

I've been getting a lot of problems getting into Blogger. So I apologize for not posting much.

That and the fact that I am physically exhausted. But I'm going to get accustomed soon enough to waking up at 4. I have 38 minutes again and then I can go HOME! I've been fantasizing about taking a shower, turning the fan on high and snuggling up under my covers being surrounded by pillows. Sigh. 36 minutes again.

Not even sure that when I click publish this is going to be published. If you don't hear from me at least you'll know why. Stay strong.

35 minutes to go....

Constantine

2005-03-16T06:27:00.000-04:00

They're making a game off of the movie Constantine.

"Play as John Constantine in an intense third-person action/horror videogame that promises to have you jumping out of your seat. Encounter terrifying enemies that were all re-created from the movie using original source materials- plus new ones exclusive to the videogame Move between the planes of Earth and “Hell L.A.” where one world affects the other, creating original game play scenarios- 14 levels in all Unleash an arsenal of spectacular artifacts on your journey -including the Crucifier, the Holy Shotgun, and the Shroud of Moses. Discover enemies with unique ‘True Sight’ - ability to help you identify half-breeds and unearth demonic secrets."

I'm curious.

Morning!

2005-03-15T06:18:00.000-04:00

Got to work rather early this morning and have been getting to work around six for the past few days. Friday was an exception because I just couldn't get my arse off the bed. It's getting a little easier to crawl off the bed at 4:30pm (as long as I go to bed around 10) if not then I'll be in a mess.

My weekend was relatively good. I don't think anything bad happened. I mean it is Tuesday now and I'm trying to remember. I remember playing pool on Saturday night and that was nice. Sunday was cool too but I was exhausted. The weekend went by in a flash as far as I know.

I'm hoping that some exciting things will begin to happen over the next few weeks. One can only hope.

SanDisk Introduces Two New Flash Drives

2005-03-11T15:11:00.000-04:00

"SanDisk's 2 GB Cruzer Titanium is a USB 2.0 flash drive that the company called "virtually indestructible." The company said that the device is being manufactured from a titanium alloy that is 2.5 times stronger than normal titanium."

More information in the header link as well as at OverClockersClub & Digit.

Our Elders

2005-03-11T10:03:00.000-04:00

I just got back from the grocery and I was in line behind another sweet old lady, she was clearly suffering from Parkinson Disease and again I started to wonder why is it that she's making her groceries by herself? I know that there are circumstances that I wouldn't even begin to think of, which would explain why she was by herself. But why do we let it get to that. Why are our mothers and grandmothers (scratch that) why are our elders walking (when they can barely walk sometimes) when they shouldn't. I know that the world isn't a perfect place. I just don't understand it.

I know that in all societies, long ago, whether it be human or animal, the elders were left behind if they were hindering the group from progressing. But I thought we had come a long way from being barbaric. I guess not.

My Puppies

2005-03-10T19:30:00.000-04:00

Baby Lady when we saw her at the dog farm. She's so cute. Still is.

Jasmine not too long after we got her. Notice the edges of the carpet?? Notice that they are perfectly aligned and neat against the wall?? Well I won't take a picture of it now, let's just say that they aren't so perfect in the corners anymore. Reason? We couldn't leave Jasmine out in the yard until we secured the spaces underneath the gate outside. So the carpet suffered till we blocked off the gate so she won't run in the road and get run over.

Jasmine probably thinking, "Sigh, they're sticking that thing in my face again."

This picture, however, is just too adorable. She won us over from the moment she looked at us.

Jasmine and Lady getting acquainted. In the early days Lady was very taken with Jasmine. She was the second dog, so she wasn't exposed to another puppy in the house. For Oscar it was fine, because Lady was the new puppy in the house for him, so he was accustomed. Jasmine, however, was a little concerned because Lady was strong and didn't know her strength, so when she pawed Jasmine it used to hurt. This picture is of Jasmine finally complaining about it vociferously and Lady getting ready to bolt from Jasmine high pitched barks. LOL.

Jasmine sleeping. We put the cigarette lighter so that we could have a record of how small she used to be.

One of her favourite sleeping positions. You should see her when she's in a corner, I must get a picture of that, she is soooo adorable when she's in her favourite corner.

We were trying to get all of them to look at the camera, so far Oscar is the only one who we know welcomes posing for pictures. Lady's the brown one, there's little Jasmine in the back and well Oscar who's complaining about God knows what. By the way, the outside lamp post that you can see lying horizontal, is the work of Oscar and Lady one night. All we heard was a loud crash outside. So, naturally, we went outside to investigate. What we saw was the lamp post lying on the ground but our dogs were no where in sight. That's our dogs. They have an accident and disappear from the scene of the crime. LOL!

I love this picture. Jasmine was in this picture but I didn't get the camera fast enough. She had just run out of the shot. But it just looks so perfect.

Oscar and Lady guarding the gate?? We weren't sure what mischief they were up to. I can't remember but it maybe because they saw us bathe Jasmine and they were staying far from us.

Lady sleeping, yup this is her sleeping again. I don't understand it either, but she always looks so funny and cute at the same time.

Jasmine after a bath, 1st thing she does is go roll in the grass. Sigh

A happy Oscar because we had just played with him for awhile. So he's happy and very spoiled. Basically that's the look he gives us when he's waiting for us to pet him some more.

Doggies spending some time with us, more like taking advantage of the fact that we're letting them stay on this of the doorway.LOL.

This is usually the scene whenever we open the kitchen door. But as long as they stay there and don't traipse there dirty feet through out the house that's fine. Plus they just need our company sometimes.

Oscar and Lady the original duo.

My dogs idea of guarding the house. LOL. not really we were home, so they relax more when we're home. Except when someone approaches of course.

Oscar complaining like he usually does. Most of the times he just grumbles. Trust me it is totally possible for a dog to grumble because I've heard it. But apparently dalmatians are talkers. They like the company of its owners so usually we'll come home and he'll need to tell us what happened for the whole day very loudly.

2005-03-10T18:54:00.000-04:00

Lady and Elvis (the bird my cousin had bought for his dad for christmas, sadly the bird died on christmas day, too much commotion. :( but the bird got along famously with lady.)

Jehovah Witnesses

2005-03-10T10:36:00.000-04:00

Before I continue, please know that I mean no disrespect and have nothing against Jehovah Witnesses. But the door at work just buzzed and I walked across to answer it. There was this little old lady asking me if I was interested in buying any of the Awake or Watchtower magazines. I didn't buy any because I'm so accustomed to saying no to most sales people who just come up to me on the streets. But I immediately wanted to take it back, because she was so frail, maybe that is what they're resorting to now to get the magazines sold or something. Maybe she is doing it of her own free will.

But let me tell you all something. Trinidad's sun is nothing a nice thing, heck, any country that is bordering the equator doesn't not have a very friendly sun. It is scorching out there and there's this old lady walking around (with not much zest mind you) trying to sell magazines?!?!

I'm sorry that outraged me, yes I know I don't know this lady's circumstances. But I'm very upset with her children and her relatives for this. I'm sure that this post will generate a lot of disagreements. But it's what upset me today. I was under the impression that they take care of their own, is this how they take care of their own???

Sorry, like I said before I have no ill will against these people. They are people after all, which is why I was upset to see this lady withering away in the elements outside.

Zuma

2005-03-10T10:27:00.000-04:00

Zuma is one of the games that Yahoo Games has available for download. You can also play the web version, but the game that you download onto your computer is more fun. Not only can you play anytime you want, you don't have to be connected to the internet in order to play and an added bonus is that it saves your high scores as well as you can leave the game and pick up where you left off. As long as when you're in your profile and you don't click cancel instead of continue. The other beautiful part is that it saves games by the profile. Pol and I have been battling with Zuma for the better part of a month.

There are 9 sets of temples (fancy Zuma word for levels), each temple has various amounts of sub levels. As far as we could see in the opening screen there are 9 temples in all for us to waste time in. This morning I got to work at 6:10am and fought with Blogger and BloggerBot to upload my pictures of my puppies. As you all can see I was unsuccessful.

Anyway, so Pol and I have been stuck on level 9 for the longest while and I decided to try my hand at it this morning just for kicks. Because if I got stuck and died I was just going to do some more research online. But I wasn't dying and I kept going level after level. Till I reached the last level in level 9, though I've never been to that level before I knew it was the last level, because it was a very different layout. The first time I was seeing it in the game. So after dying a few times I succeeded. Lo and behold this isn't the end to the game there are THREE more temples that were apparently hidden under ground and was now opened up for me.

Sigh. It was exciting to pass level 9 and everything but there was more. Lol. Of course now that I've reached that far, I've wasted A LOT of time and people started coming to work. So now the profile that has me passing level 9 is in work, but I still have to pass level 9 at home in order to get that far. Level 9 is VERY HARD! At least level 10 isn't that bad, maybe because I've achieved some robotic method of dealing with Level 9 and I'm using it for Level 10 and not realising that I can slow down.

Anyway, this is a very long post about Zuma. I started off writing this to warn you to not underestimate Yahoo Games or Msn Games. They and all the other people who design games, design them with the sole purpose of getting you to waste an unbelievable amount of time. But at least it can guarantee that you would either be very happy doing so or very frustrated. They're addictive, proceed with caution.

Where I was in Zuma. Power went and I lost the game. At least I have the screen shot of it to remind me of passing blinking Level 9.

I tried, but didn't succeed

2005-03-10T07:04:00.000-04:00

I can't copy the pictures into my post like I usually do, and the picture thing that Blogger suggests I use, post each picture as an individual post. Sigh.

If anyone knows how I can do this, please let me know. Thanks.

It's Like That

2005-03-09T13:39:00.000-04:00

I know it's shameful but this song has been playing over and over in my head all day. Sigh. Its been a long time a Mariah song actually caught on in my head so I guess that could only be seen as a good thing. Every now and then I would catch myself humming it. Sigh.

Quit Smoking Pill Ready?

2005-03-09T13:21:00.000-04:00

"Researchers are racing to develop a potentially lucrative drug that would make smoking as treatable as erectile dysfunction, high cholesterol and acid reflux disease.

Major pharmaceutical companies and small startups see the potential for billions of dollars in sales for a vaccine or a nicotine-free pill that could end addiction at the chemical level for America's 50 million smokers....."

That's just an excerpt. Click on the link in the Title.

Yes I know I'm harping but I came across this link at Life & Health Blog while surfing between doing up excel sheets.

My Dogs

2005-03-09T06:54:00.000-04:00

I have a dalmatian/belgian shepherd, a pure bred doberman and a pompeke/terrier. We got them in that order and there names are Oscar, Lady and Jasmine respectively. Jasmine being the smallest and the last puppy we got is the one we have to watch everytime we're backing the car out of the yard. In the beginning one of us would hold her or distract her from the car until it is out of the yard, so that she won't bolt at the wrong time and end up under a tyre.

Recently we've been leaving her on her own though we watch her every single second and Bel usually looks at me when he is reversing just in case I put up my hand and yell stop. I've noticed that I don't even have to do that anymore because like a mother and a father looking after their baby, Oscar and Lady have taken to sitting very dignified in front of the car instead of rushing to the back of it to see if my guard is down to run out of the yard.

I found it strange the few mornings that I don't have to worry about them running out of the yard. Until I paid attention and realised they've been trying to set an example for Jasmine. Most of the time Jasmine used to stay at the side of the car (her food bowl is situated there) and I'd see her. When the car starts backing out of the yard Lady would leave her spot and go stand right in front of Jasmine the same way she would stand in front of us if someone was passing on the road. Even though Lady is quite the coward she is, however, very intimidating.

I paid attention some more and realised she does this every morning, until this morning she simply ran up to Jasmine, pawed her and ran back to the position that they've taken up and Jasmine followed. It was an amazing thing. I felt so proud of my little dog family. I regretted not having the camera with me so that I could take a picture of little Jasmine sitting between these two strapping dogs. I don't think we'll have to worry about Jasmine anymore since Oscar and Lady seems to have things under control. But then again, they are still technically puppies, we'll still watch them.

This isn't the first time that I've noticed the loyalty and care amongst them. The first time was when Oscar shot out of the gate and straight up the road. Lady of course (back then) was not far behind. What was different this morning, however, was that the black dog that Oscar have been feuding with for months ran out of his gate at the same time. It was just unfortunate that the owner of the black dog was leaving his house at the same time that Bel was going back home.

It was pandemonium! Bel and Pol told me that they never saw such an uproar. Even the black dog's owner was afraid to get in the middle of them. Black dog, however, did take a break from trying to get Oscar's neck to chase Lady down the street. But Lady being of exquisite breeding was simply too fast for him. She took off with the black dog close behind with her little stub of a tail the only thing that he could reach. And reach he did but only because she looked back to see how close he was. All this time Oscar was hot on his heels but when Black dog nipped her, all hell broke loose.

"HOW DARE YOU NIP MY WOMAN!" Oscar seemed to howl while Lady scampered back into our yard. "EH HEH!" screamed Oscar, "Let me see you now, you feel you so big and bad you need to bite a woman, MY WOMAN?" "Take that and that!" And so it went on, snarling and biting, it was one bite after another till the black dog was bleeding from his eye, his ears and had knicks all over his body.

Bel and Black dog's owner finally got an opportunity to part them and grabbed them by the legs. Black dog put up the most resistance like a fighter who knows he has lost but is too proud to admit it. Oscar knowing that he has sufficiently punished Black dog for the insult of biting Lady, simply strutted back home and into the yard to lick his paw and shoulder. Because that is about all that suffered any damage at all, if you could call it damage. Jasmine all this time was howling at the top of her lungs very safely by the entrance of the gate.

I was so proud of my Oscar, he defended Lady's honour and showed the Black dog that he was man enough for his woman and protected his little family. We visited the owner of Black dog to see if Black dog was alright and he was because he was scampering all over the yard and had strength enough to bark at us. Black dog's owner wasn't upset because he knows of the animosity between Oscar and Black dog. It was just a matter of time till they had the opportunity to have it out.

Since then promptly at 7pm there is a cacophony of noise outside our gate when the Black dog comes to visit to trade insults with Oscar. But that's alright Oscar kicked his butt so all Black dog could do now is quarrel.

Half Blood Prince Book Cover Unveiled

2005-03-08T15:02:00.000-04:00

IT'S TUESDAY!!!

2005-03-08T14:14:00.000-04:00

After last week's emotional ending of Gilmore Girls, all I can say is YAY!!! IT'S TUESDAY! Lol. I'm anxiously looking forward to tonight. I've come to terms with the fact that I am living my life through Lorelai at the moment. I'm so happy for her and yes I do wish that I could find someone who could sweep me off my feet and get me to trust them indefinitely. Because I always trust, I always stupidly trust, then get disappointed. I know that life is made up of disappointments. But I don't see why there would be such disappointments that would just wreck your world and make you so afraid to want to peek your head out again. But put that all aside, I refuse to give in those particular self-destructive thoughts. I'm happy, it's Tuesday again. Will post tomorrow if not later.

French Vanilla Coffee

2005-03-07T20:56:00.000-04:00

I just had an exceptional cup of french vanilla coffee with whipped cream and despite my back ache, I feel wonderful. It really was a good cup of coffee. I haven't drunk coffee in a while. I guess most people will tell me I still haven't seeing that it was french vanilla. Haven't been able to get back into coffee since I quit. Yes people coffee is an addiction too. Especially when my body needed it so badly it gave me migraines. So I've been coffee free for a long time. But french vanilla doesn't really affect me much.

Anyway with that fulfilling feeling, I'm going to relax in front of the television and then go to sleep. I just wanted to drop a line. Hope everyone has a good night.

Quitting Smoking.

2005-03-07T20:31:00.000-04:00

For all those out there who have quit and trying desperately to stay off of it and for those who are thinking about it and are afraid that it's going to be impossible. This post was inspired by a blog I stumbled across who I've linked to recently "Rachel's Blog". She has just started the process of quitting. It was her and my desire for my cousin to quit, who made me want to know more about the withdrawal symptoms.

Below are some answers to some questions but I think a major support base will help as well.

How You Can Cope

Physical withdrawal from nicotine is a temporary condition, but it can cause a fair amount of discomfort while it lasts. The nickname of having "quitter's flu" has been given to this phase of cessation because the symptoms of withdrawal often mimic having a cold or a mild case of the flu. Understanding what to expect and following the pointers for coping will help you move through this stage more easily.

The following list are commonly reported symptoms. Most people have some of these, but rarely all of them. While each person will go through this process a little differently, for most people, these discomforts are short-lived. It's always a good idea to check in with your doctor if you're concerned about any physical reaction you're having to cessation, or if the symptoms persist.

Symptoms of Physical Withdrawal

Cravings (Wait out the urge because it will only last a little while. Breathe deeply until the craving passes. Distract yourself by exercising, calling a friend or doing anything else that allows you to resist the urge to smoke.)
Hunger (Drink water or low-calorie drinks. Eat low-calorie snacks, like pretzels, fruits and veggies. Chew sugar-free gum. Crunch on ice.)
Irritable, cranky (Breathe deeply and slowly or use other relaxation techniques. Take a hot bath. Exercise to take your mind off of being grouchy.)
Insomnia
Fatigue (Get lots of rest, exercise and fresh air.)
Inability to Concentrate (Plan ahead to allow extra time. Avoid undo stress in the first few weeks. Do deep-breathing exercises to get extra oxygen to your brain.)
Headache
Cough
Sore throat
Constipation, gas, stomach pain (Drink lots of fluids (water and fruit juices). Eat more fruits, veggies and whole grains. Avoid caffeine (coffee, tea and cola drinks).
Dry mouth
Sore tongue and/or gums
postnasal drip
Tightness in the chest (Flush the nicotine out of your system as quickly as possible by drinking plenty of water or fruit juices. Use relaxation techniques. Stay away from caffeine.)

Coping Skills

The five D's

Delay until the urge passes--usually within 3-5 minutes
Distract yourself. Call a friend or go for a walk.
Drink water to fight off cravings
Deep Breaths--Relax! Close your eyes and take 10 slow, deep breaths
Discuss your feelings with someone close to you or the smoking cessation support forum here on this site.

Other ways to cope include

Exercise--get a little every day. Even a 15 minute walk will work wonders to help you feel better and reduce cravings.
Get more rest. More sleep helps!! If you're experiencing insomnia, try taking a long walk several hours before bed.
Relaxation. Time alone to read a good book. A hot bath at the end of the day. Whatever makes you feel pampered and relaxes you is a great choice.
Reward yourself at the end of every single smoke free day you complete early on. You are doing a great job, so celebrate your victory every single day.

Don't let withdrawal scare you! Always remember that it is a temporary phase of quitting. The fantastic feeling of freedom and control you'll get when you successfully beat this addiction is worth every bit of effort you give to quitting, and then some. You are worth it!

Constantine

2005-03-06T20:34:00.000-04:00

The sign of a good movie is being able to walk out of the cinema as a changed person. It doesn't matter how you are changed, as long as you feel different. That's how I felt after Constantine. Mind you it wasn't the same way I felt when I left the cinema in 1999 after I saw The Matrix. After The Matrix I felt like a new version of myself, like a whole new world was opened up to me, a world of possibilites that I hadn't thought existed. It was one of the few movies, if not only movie that was a script from scratch and not an adaptation from a book that had no holes in the story. Everything had a meaning and a purpose. Nothing that happened in that movie was trivial, every little thing was paving the way for the scenes to come. The best part was that none of it was created and done just so a later scene could happen.

The other movie that changed my life (at least when I left the cinema) was The Lord of The Rings: The Two Towers. While I was in the cinema I just wanted to get into the screen and fight along with them, wanted to help them fight the Orcs. After the movie was done and I left the cinema, I felt like I could fly. The movie had me so hyped and exhilarated, I felt like if I just spread my hands I'd be able to fly. I know it sounds stupid, but that was how exuberant I felt. Movies are supposed to do that. They're not just supposed to make you feel good or bad while you're watching it, but it's supposed to leave something with you after you leave the cinema.

Take for instance, they showed the trailer for The Passion Of The Christ when I went to see Constantine. I wanted to cry all over again and it was just the trailer. My heart started hurting from the memories of the movie that the trailer brought back. Constantine, however, was different from those movies. I didn't feel like I could fly, my heart was alright, I did however have my world of possibilites expanded once more. There was a lot in the movie that I had already believed in anyway, but there hasn't been a movie that was brave enough to show it. That was what made me feel something after the movie was done, that it was being shown. That more people out there would be aware of what is going on around them. Maybe it isn't exactly as it is depicted in the movie but it comes pretty damn close. That's what made me happy about the movie, besides the fact that it was a well done movie.

I don't want to say too much about it, the trailer at least gives you an idea about what to expect, but Constantine wasn't just visually satisfying, it was a trip worth taking. I would recommend it to all those out there who believe that there are things out there waiting to thwart us from doing good. That there are things that we don't see, but that doesn't mean that they don't exist. I hope that a lot of people walk away from it with their eyes opened to world that exists with ours.

And the countdown is on...

2005-03-04T15:16:00.000-04:00

I know that this is old news to most people but Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is due out in stores on the 16th July 2005. There are lots of reasons to be happy about the release of book 6 of this amazing series, besides the point that we need to know what happens almost as badly as we need oxygen. However, environmental parties should have been extremely happy when they heard this: "We welcome the efforts that Bloomsbury has made and look forward to it moving towards 100% ancient forest friendly papers for all future Harry Potter print runs and their other titles." That's a very ambitious effort considering the volume of books that are shipped for this series. But I applaud them nonetheless.

I'm sure everyone around me have heard me constantly quarrelling about wasting paper, about using the other side of paper of prints gone bad for scrap. Because as far as I'm concerned I want my children (if they ever come into existence) to have the option to use paper if they want. I still think it is very traditional and important even though I do support a paper-less soceity at least to save the trees which will help save our blinking atmosphere in the long run.

"In 2003, Raincoast Books, the Canadian publisher of Harry Potter printed Order of the Phoenix on 100 percent recycled paper saving nearly 30,000 trees. If Bloomsbury complies, it will be the first major UK fiction book to be printed on ancient forest friendly paper."

30,000 trees!!!

Finally, the confirmed length of HP&THBP is 608 pages according to confirmation received from Bloomsbury.

One more site that has been quite a treat and from the author JKRowling herself should have more updates the closer we get to the release date.

I Fell Asleep...

2005-03-04T14:41:00.000-04:00

...AT WORK!! I think it was a combination of getting home late last night and the blinking sun outside. I went for lunch and after I ate I only rested my head on the conference room table and that was it. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!! Hopefully I didn't snore, but I know when I woke up no one was there. They were even so nice to take off the light. But I was appalled because I never fall asleep in work. Unless I've been working late and I go to use the bathroom and 20 minutes later wake up. But so far no one ever saw me fall asleep. :(

Last night we had a company dinner because one of our directors came down from Norway. I thought it was the U.S. Virgin Islands director, but I was wrong. So anyway, we went to Jenny's and it was cool. We ate, talk, laugh and then we went home. But I'm so sleepy now. I don't usually feel this exhausted after I go out the night before which is why I'm blaming the heat as well. When I came back inside the office I felt like just moving my head to talk to someone at the side of me was a task. I feel so drained.

Bel told me we're going to play pool later. I don't know if I'm up to it. Was kind of looking forward to just camping out in the living room and watch him fight up with Ninja Gaiden. But as long as I'm with them right now it doesn't matter what we do. I think I need to get a life of my own because just being away from them for 3 hours last night felt like I was going through withdrawal symptoms. But they're so nice to be around and I don't feel bad about myself when they're near. Sigh. There's always Gilmore Girls I guess and blogging.

Sony's PlayStation Portable

2005-03-04T10:01:00.000-04:00

Can you imagine being on a flight and you have the option to listen to music, watch a movie or play one of your favourite or latest games on a little thing in the palm of your hands? That's if it is allowed on planes, you know how they're funny with electronics. But if laptops are allowed I guess it will be too.

But what about waiting on transportation or waiting in line at the phone company or any other government company that you have to wait in line. I mean that would be a great alternative to cursing silently in your head about why they can't get their act together and move with some life. I, personally hate waiting unless I have something to keep my attention off the fact that I'm waiting.

So in light of all of the above, I wouldn't mind owning one of those. Now that I've been introduced to the world of gaming beyond my PC. I mean the Xbox and PlayStation 2 just rocks. But imagine not having to wait to reach home to play. On your lunch hour at work after you've eaten and you don't care to talk to any of the workers there because they irritate you. I usually just read my latest book, but this is a very interesting option.

It would be kind of hard to play while in traffic, but here in Trinidad we have many moments of standstill traffic. I remember on my way home, going over a flyover and seeing cars lined up on the highway below as far as my eyes can see on both the left and right-hand side. And they weren't going anywhere. Reason being, that the police department decided that peak time traffic on a weekday when people just want to go home, was the best time to put up a road block. Sigh. But then playing in that kind of traffic would be a bad thing because they would probably want to reprimand you for making better use of your time than being especially attentive to their efforts at ruining your evening.

Anyway that was just another thought and article that I came across this morning. Mind you the first paragraph was probably the only part of the article in the link. LOL.

Symantec granted patent for detection of mutating viruses

2005-03-04T09:57:00.000-04:00

A good effort by Symantec to make sure they're still in the virus prevention, detection and removal business. In light of Microsoft now trying to get into that game. I wish them luck because goodness knows that we don't want to have to rely on Microsoft for yet another vital feature of computers.

Video Games Get New Rating

2005-03-04T09:50:00.000-04:00

E10+ (Everyone 10 and older)

"We expect that many of the best selling sports, racing, and adventure games will continue to receive E ratings appropriate for ages six and older," said Vance. "Games with content that may not be suitable for younger ages of six to nine, such as racing games with more extreme crashes or fighting games with super heroes, will now receive an E10+ rating," Vance said.

So basically what they're trying to say is that they finally realise that most of the games that are being released have "more extreme crashes or fighting games with super heroes" They forgot about blood and gore. LOL.

I thought this was interesting.

The Return Of The Voice

2005-03-03T10:04:00.000-04:00

So far it seems as though it could very well be exactly as the header of this post says. The Return of the Voice. Her latest album is being released on the 12th April 2005. The Emancipation of Mimi. I can't wait.

It's been awhile since I've been excited about a Mariah Album. Glitter got so much bad publicity but seriously without the movie it was a amazing album on it's own. What album could survive being released on September 11th??? It was just a string of bad luck. Charmbracelet, however, is another story. I'm a very big Mariah fan, but even I had to pause and think "what the hell happened?" I loved some songs on the album, but it was definitely not a commercial friendly product and in this world it needs to be marketable. Some of the songs off of Charmbracelet were amazing, my favourite off of it was Bringing on the Heartbreak & My Saving Grace. A lot of people shot down BOTH because it was a Def Leppard classic, but if the band themselves loved the remake who the hell are the nay-sayers.

This new album is generating so much GOOD publicity so far that I'm crossing my fingers and holding my breath that it doesn't just blow up in her face. Because she has such an amazing voice and as far as any is concern the only bad thing that happened minus the physical breakdown is that last album and it wasn't even horrendous like most of the material being produced lately. Seriously though who could handle her schedule and be the number 1 selling female and have all the accolades that she has. Her charts statistics are beyond any female that I've ever seen and they still have the nerve to speak ill of her and laugh. Well all I can say is that in a month we'll see who will be having the last laugh.

Awake for 9 hours & 25 minutes

2005-03-02T13:55:00.000-04:00

I've been awake since 4:30pm, Bel had to get to work early so we had to leave home by 6 to try and beat the traffic. Emphassis on the word try, because that was all from that statement we accomplished. I got to work in 18 minutes time, a record I may add. Bel however called me at 9 to tell me that he was now 1 street away from his office. I can't believe the traffic we have in a small country like Trinidad.

Today was alright because I was busy, it's only now I'm starting to feel the effects of sleepiness. But I'm fighting it. I'm sure I can make it. Maybe I'll go take a rest when I get home.

Happy 10th Birthday Yahoo!!

2005-03-02T10:49:00.000-04:00

They're even giving a free one scoop of Baskin-Robbins ice cream at the 3,423 select Baskin-Robbins locations throughout the world.

If only Trinidad had a Baskin-Robbins lol!

Just thought I'd mention it.

Gilmore Girls

2005-03-02T08:43:00.000-04:00

All those who don't particularly care for the WB TV Show Gilmore Girls should just skip this post completely.

I must say that last night's episode was the most satisfying episode I've seen from Gilmore Girls in a long time. Last night you saw Luke fall apart the only way he knew how by being angry. He burns all the food that he cooks in the diner and throws customers out if they complained about it. Lorelai in turn has become a couch potato, watching old movies and ordering take out. Despite the efforts of Suki to get her out of the house, the last scene in the episode shows Lorelai watching a Judy Garland movie and eating Chinese. However, this turns out to be the best thing that could happen to her, because unbeknownst to Lorelai, her mother, Emily, made a surprise stop at Luke's in and informs him that he has won because her daughter isn't speaking to her and have completely shut her out of her life. She asks him to go back to her because Lorelai is miserable without him.

Armed with that information, in the last scene of the episode you see Lorelai in front of the TV, resigned to her fate as a pre-mature spinster. There's a knock on the door, she opens it and on the porch is Luke with a face of such determination. Without a word he steps over the threshold takes her in his arms and kisses her in one fluid motion. It was the most beautiful thing I saw and the feelings that went through me was amazing. I couldn't believe it. That a simple TV show could elicit such a reaction. I was so happy.

So happy that they got back together because they've waited so long. It was the first healthy relationship she has ever been in and he's loved her secretly for years. I was so happy. I called my best friend in the states immediately because I knew she was watching it. I needed to share that experience and emotional overload with someone. She was just as excited as I was, it was just perfect. I can't seem to find the words to express how it felt, feeling like I'm going to burst doesn't quite cut it.

I called my mother afterwards and it was the same thing all over again. Of course she had to tell me that she doesn't like the path that Rory is going down but I still believe that Rory needs to get a major wake up call and this is the only way she's going to get it.

I still can't believe it. It was so beautiful and heart rendering. I can't wait for next week Tuesday.

Mean...well not really.

2005-03-01T13:57:00.000-04:00

I got to be a little mean today. The boss told me to take the guys off the network, the same guys who were downloading porn and spyware onto my network. I hate spyware and they wonder why the machines were slowing down. Geez. But it felt mean, seeing that I wasn't even going to tell them what I was doing. I simply took off each connection and by a process of elimination knew which one was theirs and left it off. I'm sure that someone would tell me there was an easier way, but with only 10 connections on my network, that was easier and the sneakiest.

They haven't spoken to me as yet, but I'm sure they've realised that they can't browse the internet. However, I don't think they'll approach me about it, well at least until they've come up with at least one reason why they should have internet access. I can assure you that they won't have a good reason because when they were given opportunities to prove that they need the internet from the boss himself, to research items for him, they would promptly re-route that request to me. So if myself and my co-workers are doing the research, then they have no need for it.

So all the other machines have passwords so that when they do try to fiddle on someone else's machine they would have no success. Yes I know that was mean too, but my excuse is the boss told me to do it. And no I'm not going to do everything the boss told me to do. But this made sense, seeing that the machines and the network is under my care and they've endangered it.

Yes these are all my justifications but not just for you but for myself. I don't like being mean, unless it is called for.

Home is where the heart is.

2005-03-01T08:20:00.000-04:00

I think that's true, at least it is so in my case.

When Pol picked me up we debated for all of 5 minutes whether to go play pool or go home. I secretly wanted to go home because I didn't want to be jittery at the pool place. I rather be home to go crazy with waiting. I found things to do though, I washed the car and you could almost see her smile as her eyes brighten while her whole body glowed. After that I watched Gilmore Girls with Pol and finally went upstairs to shave my legs.

I love how my legs feel right after I shave them. Especially when I have on my jeans or my work pants, it always feels like I've lost weight or something because all my pants just flows around my feet, even though it looks the same way, that's just how it feels.

We decided to not leave 20 past 8 and leave before that, so that we could be there before the plane lands. However, I kept noticing things before we left, like my face was too dry, then my hair was too dry, then I had to find lip gloss because my face was looking blah! So we ended up being on the highway at 8:20 anyway. We got there at 8:42pm and was patting ourselves on our back because that meant that we were three minutes early for the flight. Lo and behold we get a call from our beloved Bel asking us where we were. So we were a bit surprised because we thought he'd be in customs or something. But he had just come out of all of that because the flight was half an hour early.

Someone up there must like me because I hate waiting and I wasn't looking forward to jumping out of my skin waiting for him to come out. I was so glad to see that he was alright. He was home, he was safe. Pol was happy. So basically my little family was complete again.

Needless to say there was a lot of catching up to do. But I went to sleep relatively early. Still went downstairs to watch some of The Matrix. All in all everything is alright.

Time...is...moving...slowly.

2005-02-28T13:09:00.000-04:00

I'm bored and my pants is feeling tight around the waist because I just ate, but it's making me feel so fat and irritable. But I know the real reason I'm feeling miserable and that is it is only 1pm and I can't wait for 4:30pm so that Pol can pick me up and we can go get ready to pick Bel up at the airport. I know that 1pm is closer to 4:30 than say 9am. But I'm still feeling anxious and excited and rearing to go.

I got to work early today because we have the directors of the company coming in to have a meeting with our in-house director. So everyone has been on the ps & qs except the guys who were giving trouble a couple of weeks ago. They went on another simple errand and disappeared. Sigh.

This weekend was good. Pol and I played pool on Friday and Saturday night and that was great. Had minor setbacks while we there (mere annoyances) but other than that it was great. We were trying to go on Sunday but never made it because one of her brothers were supposed to pass and didn't. By that time it was too late, considering there was work the next day.

The house will soon cease to feel empty by tonight. Thank goodness. I was extremely grateful that Pol was home because when both of them aren't home, the house feels like it's just a shell. It feels like there are no walls and that every room I enter is just a void. So tonight home will be complete again.

TGIF...3 days till Monday

2005-02-25T15:41:00.000-04:00

The alarm went off at 20 to 5 this morning because even though I'm supposed to get up at 5 I needed to snooze twice to fool myself into thinking I got twenty more minutes of sleep. I went across the hall, hugged Bel and tell him wake up. He promptly rolls over, hugs his pillow and says "I don't have to go to work early today." LOL. Poor thing I wanted to leave him with that particular delusion but couldn't, I said "No, but you do have to go to Houston this morning." The "Oh!" I got was too hilarious but didn't mean one thing because he still begged for 5 more minutes. Too precious.

The trip to the airport was uneventful except Pol and I leaving the airport without Bel. We had a nice little breakfast with him and left after making him promise to call us at least once a day. To wish he teased me unmercifully that he'll call if he has time. (WAHHHHHHHHH!!) but fortunately he was just pulling my leg.

The return trip was very entertaining. We took two wrong turns that was just something else. The first one landed us in the middle of a field of gravel, we had no clue as to where we were, of course when I told Bel he was laughing at us very hard, wanting to know how we could get lost on the highway. But it wasn't the highway I swear it was one of the back roads. But it was a good morning. I got to work late but I was happy. Plus the boss was informed from before.

The day is almost over and to tell you the truth I can't say I did very much. If you count finding porn on the computer of the employees who were trying to cause trouble in a previous post. So I cleaned the machine as much as I could, the spyware that machine had, geez. Pol came down to meet me early because we had to go check out a house. It is nice, I'm hesitant to say beautiful, because there are parts that are beautiful but with all houses that you see, they'll always have flaws compared to the perfect house that's in your head. But it was nice and seems like a great investment. We'll see when Bel gets back.

Right now Pol is in one of the sales offices watching "The Gift" waiting on me. But even though it isn't 4:30pm I'm sure we can leave now because everyone else is drinking beer and cleaning the windows for the impending arrival of the directors of the company. So pretty soon I'll be off playing pool.

Hey Bel we miss you.!!

To everyone...will post on Monday, internet is down at home at the moment. Later. Have a great weekend.

I Lied...

2005-02-24T13:43:00.000-04:00

...my head hurting is a big deal. I want to go home, lie down and hug up my pillows.

Houston again...

2005-02-24T11:35:00.000-04:00

...Bel is leaving for Houston again tomorrow morning, but he'll be back by Monday night so that's not too bad. Plus we'll have the car and Pol and I already plan to hit the pool halls. But we'll miss him terribly nonetheless.

Sleepy

2005-02-24T10:03:00.000-04:00

I had to pay the company's cell bills before I came to work this morning, which means I got an extra hour of sleep this morning. I think next time I'll just get up normal time. I am so sleepy now. Exhausted and I have a headache, which I don't mind too much because a headache is a far cry from having a fever and a fire in your chest. You would think that my body would be happy for an extra hour of sleep. Sigh.

We have electricity again, we first thought it was our fault but it wasn't, the stupid company just didn't apply the payment to our account so it "appeared" to them that we didn't pay. Last night I was so mad when I called them to find out when they're connecting us because it was after 7 in the night and I still didn't have power. But when the guy finally came and he just removed some pins there was a flicker of light and I felt this surge of exuberance. It is amazing how dependent we are on electricity. I asked the man if he wanted eggs because we just cooked eggs, I was so happy to have power back. Even though it is technically the power company's fault. But I was happy.

We could finally finish Legacy of Kain, which we did in no time. I like the Legacy series, the storyline is much more complicated than any other game I've been exposed to. The search for what really happened, the revelations and the assumptions of both characters that took them on such diverse paths only to find them (in the ending) fighting on the same side. I can't wait for the next game in the series.

It is 11:33am just finished having breakfast and waiting anxiously for home time. I need to get a game of Zuma, I'm feeling the withdrawal symptoms.

Crazy Wednesday

2005-02-23T14:34:00.000-04:00

Today was a whirlwind. I know that it being only 2:35pm I'm being a bit premature in saying that today was but today has been so busy that it can only be referred to in the past tense. It was hard to get up this morning because it was so cold outside. It was cold without even the help of a fan, no wonder ordinarily I catch my royal tail to get out from under the comforter on a morning. But eventually I got up, had breakfast with Pol & Bel and got my arse to work.

And that is exactly what I've been doing. Lots and lots of work and it was BEAUTIFUL!! I felt alive to be on the go, moving from one activity to the next with fluid motion. :D Then for lunch we had Pizza, the company bought seeing that it was the two for one special and even that was scrumptious. So now I've slowed down considerably and I just want to not feel so full anymore. LOL. But so far it's been a wonderful day.

Yesterday afternoon I went home and there was no electricity, slight oversight on our part, which is being rectified at the moment. Besides not being able to play Zuma or finish Legacy Of Kain (because we just have an oomph again and we're done) there was going to be no fan for sleeping. In Pol's case there was no AC, goodness knows how she got through the night. But all in all minus the sleeping part it was a nice night. We ate by candle light, played cards till Bel won and thankfully didn't gloat. The part I like the best was going outside, playing with the dogs while chatting in the cool breeze. That was nice. The sky was very cloudy but they weren't dark clouds so it was beautiful. White clouds floating on an ink-filled sky.

Maybe because I've been pretty miserable with the stupid virus for the past few weeks, I'm seeing more into things that there is, but it was nice. :D I'm just happy to be feeling good and not ill and miserable. :D

Well it's almost time for me to go home, I've been working and typing this all at the same time. So I started this at 2:34 and it is now 3:45 lol. So good afternoon everyone. Enjoy the rest of your evening. I'm going to harass some of my co-workers I'm feeling mischievous. Later.

Bosses

2005-02-23T09:44:00.000-04:00

I'm lucky that I am finally working for a company that isn't going to ask me for blood if I'm really sick. But I don't understand other bosses. Wouldn't they want their employees to get better, I'm not talking from a humanity view point but from the fact that a sick employee would usually come to work and it would just spread. I can personally attest to the fact that this last virus was a terrible one and very contagious. Wouldn't the employer want to suffer one day of not having an employee than having the potential of multiple absences in one day?

I do understand that work needs to be done and I am one of those people who would go to work if I know that there was something that has to be done that particular day that no one else was prepped to do. But geez. Sorry this post is coming out of a response I was typing to Ana who commented on my Just Another Manic Tuesday post. I know there are some people out there who would take advantage of that and say they're sick when they're not. It was just a thought that went through my head. Because that used to happen all the time when I was at my old company. Someone would be sick, come to work and by the next day and for the rest of the month, the office will be dropping like flies and it will just be recycled. Someone was always sick. That's just my theory that's all. It's different in a small company when the weight is pretty much distributed amongst few individuals, but in a big corporation I think they need to get a heart.

There are so many factors involved I know. I'm just thinking out loud.

Velvet

2005-02-22T12:29:00.000-04:00

Vigilant
Electronic
Lifeform
Viable for
Exploration and
Troubleshooting

hmmmm....

check it out. http://www.cyborgname.com/

Just another Manic Tuesday

2005-02-22T11:38:00.000-04:00

It's a Manic Tuesday for me because I didn't go to work yesterday. The virus took hold of me really badly. I caught my royal "bleep" to sleep Sunday night because it didn't matter if I breathe through my nose or my mouth, the results were the same, I felt like a dragon breathing in fire instead of breathing out fire. My whole nasal passage and throat was like a dry sponge that no liquid could drench. What made matters a little worse on Monday morning was the hacking cough that gripped me and wouldn't let go. Thankfully the cough isn't as frequent anymore. So I stayed home.

I ended up finally finishing The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King - Extended Edition. An additional 50 minutes of new and extended scenes. I got it for Christmas from one of my best friends who is presently studying in the States. I was so excited when I got it because it had a miniature sculpture of Minas Tirith. I haven't even started on the last two discs with all the commentary or the special DVD on Howard Shore and the making of the Lord of the Rings Score. That would be because of this wretched flu, I hope to look at those this weekend, emphasis on hope lol. But I took advantage of being home and not being able to sleep because I can't bloody breathe and watched it. It was amazing. When it was done, I was sad all over again because I forgot how much I miss those characters but happy because the additional scenes really did fit. It wasn't just filler. It explained the smile that Eowyn and Faramir shared at the coronation in the end (for those who didn't read the book i.e.). It also showed a little more about Denethor so unlike the original version, it didn't look like he all-of-a-sudden went mad. Plus most importantly there were the deleted scenes of Saruman and so much more. All in all it was an excellent movie all over again.

The funniest part of yesterday (well funny to me) was all the different voices that I had yesterday. I asked Bel about that, what makes you sound like you have a frog in your throat. Bel is the High Priest of Trivial Information so he would be the person you would ask all the things you wanted to know but never really bothered to find out. He told me that my voice was sounding like that because my vocal chords and generally my throat was swollen. But seriously it was very funny. One minute I'm almost sounding like myself, the next I'm sounding like Barry White with a cold. LOL.

It is much better now though. I woke up this morning and my head was CLEAR!! My nose is still stuffed up but I can breathe out of it without having to think about it. YEEEEHHAAA!! Very happy about that. I'm a little sleepy but nothing to complain about but I don't care because I'm BETTER!! However, my body had to remind me that even though I feel like I'm 100% I still have to take it easy. I just walked up and down the stairs once and I ended up wheezing. Sigh. But forget all that. I'm Well!!! Wohoo!!

:D

Unproductive Saturday

2005-02-20T00:43:00.000-04:00

I was supposed to have a facial Saturday morning, that involved getting up at 6am because I need to snooze the alarm on my phone at least for an hour, then to get off the bed is another 10 minutes and to persuade my limbs into the bathroom is another 5. I got up at 6 and realised that snoozing wasn't going to help me because my whole face was throbbing with this really annoying pain. I didn't understand it. Besides being almost 100% fine yesterday before going to bed I found myself coughing myself to sleep and waking up with a voice that wasn't my own, lungs and throat that felt like I just slept all night in a sand pit.

I got downstairs as quickly as possible to get something to help relieve the pain and congestion. Back to sleep I was. I woke up at nine as if I hadn't taken any medication at all, I was bright eyed and bushy tail as the saying goes. So I took the opportunity to call the facial people and cancel, thankfully I was able to reschedule for another day. Thankfully because of the voice that was not mine, they realised that I was indeed sick and couldn't make it.

Next time my eyes saw the light of day was 11:30. I couldn't believe it, how time flies. The rest of the evening was spent on Zuma, Legacy of Kain and Hidalgo. All three which was quite entertaining. Hidalgo, however, is worthy a little bit more of this post that just a mere mention. I read some of the reviews that are out there, I don't think you need to just be a Viggo Mortensen fan to enjoy this movie. If you enjoy a movie that has you on the edge of your seat at times, make you laugh from time to time and make your heart soar (even just a little) at the persistence of this little horse and the spirit of this man who will protect his horse to the death.

Of course, if you don't care to watch Hidalgo because you think it's going to be fluff that's all fine and well. But I just remembered yet another movie that dealt with horses and their will to keep on pushing forward, and that is Seabiscuit. Words cannot describe the myriad of emotions that you will experience while watching this movie. In all though I would recommend both to anyone. I think the real reason Hidalgo didn't stand out so much was because of Viggo's much publicised role in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. It certainly didn't help much that it was released not too long after the last installment of LOTR. But nonetheless it's a movie to see.

Well I'm off to my bed now. I think the medication is finally kicking in and that was what I was waiting for. Take care.

Fantastic News!!

2005-02-18T16:28:00.000-04:00

One of my dearest cousins from my mother's side told me today that she's getting MARRIED!! I was totally blown away, it was such welcomed news. I was so glad that I was sitting down because I couldn't believe it, it was such amazing news. She had moved to Canada with the rest of her immediate family in 1986 when I was 6 and she was 7. I didn't hear anything from any of them till 1994 when they came to visit Trinidad. We never wrote before because let's face it what are a couple of pre-teens going to write about? But after the 1994 visit there was seldom a fortnight or a month that went by that there wasn't a letter being sent between us. She was and still is one of my greatest confidants.

During the last year or two we haven't really communicated as much as we used to but that was because she was in the middle of her last years at medical school and of course I was in the middle of some emotional crisis or another. But she has always been one of those people I will always look up to. Her determination and ambition is of something I've never seen before. I really admire her. All through school she has always been at the top of her class and if not the top, she's in the top 3. Right through college and medical school she's been working, studying and was also one of the tutors for MCAT exam. Not a very friendly exam, but she was the type of person who could pull that off. I guess if you want to be a doctor then it's a good thing you've recognised from early that you have stamina to just keep going. But it still amazes me.

She's been online all the time for the last few weeks and finally we were both in front of our computers at the same time. That's when she told me she's getting married, that invitations were sent out for us and that she hopes I can come up. I would give anything to be there for her wedding. So I'll be seriously working on getting my Visa. As if that wasn't enough fabulous news she told me she's graduating on the 8th June! I couldn't be prouder. That just made my week. I'm so happy for her I could burst.

Good news to start the weekend with.

Day Two...

2005-02-18T11:20:00.000-04:00

...of taking vitamins and I must admit I feel just splendid. My nose & throat still burn and hurt, but I don't feel tired or weak. YAY! The only thing would be for me to keep it up.

I was re-reading the posts I did for the last week and I realised that just when I complained about feeling like a marble in a shoebox just rolling around and bouncing into walls, that my life got pretty exciting work wise. Thank goodness that my home life is stable or I'd probably lose it. Today is the last day that I'm going to be holding the fort at work. My co-worker is coming back from New York on Sunday (PLEASE GOD!). So from Monday morning things might get a little bit more interesting. Considering that I've had an active part to play in the day to day runnings of the company. But also because of the meeting we had that brought so much out in the open. As usual I hope that it would be for the better.

Last night was given over to Legacy of Kain: Defiance. Personally I was having a hard time accepting the struggles of Kain and Raziel. I think that was because I was so involved in Prince before this and the fact that Prince is human. Prince's purpose was for survival and to prevent the destruction of his homeland and quite possibility existence as we know it. LOK:D however is about vampires battling for survival (granted) truth & vengeance. It seemed like a riveting storyline but you know how between books or good movies, you need some time afterwards to just wind down to be in a better frame of mind to accept something new. That's how I was feeling. Last night, however, I was high on Comtrex for my cold. So that was another reason I was in no mood to play.

However, the graphics and the detail they spent on everything in the game from a tree stump to the walls won me over. Just how they used the different palettes of colour to depict the spectral realm and the real world was amazing. What particular fascinated me was the aura that surrounded the Reaver in each particular transformation. So after doing some background reading for the game I'm more than anxious to reach home yet again. Yet another mystery to be unveiled. The character development is quite extensive and the more I read the more I wanted to know. Will keep you posted because I'm sure there will be loads to tell.

Example of Spectral Realm

Example of the Real World. The details are exquisite.

Battle between Raziel and Kain

Unbelievable

2005-02-18T10:56:00.000-04:00

I just read the post over at Trinimuse for today (18th Feb 2005) about the Tsunami. The figures for confirmed dead are 78,395 and the remainder of 131,479 are lost or missing. I can't imagine losing my family or friends in a matter of seconds and finding out for sure that they're dead. Worse yet to not know if they're dead or alive because there would be this hope and fervent prayer that they're alive. For them to turn out to be dead would be catastrophic. There are a lot of people in pain right at this moment that no amount of aid can help. Yet somehow the human spirit seems to carry on. I pray for the families of those who are lost and dead, may they find their strength and comfort in knowing God has a reason for everything.

Drama

2005-02-17T15:39:00.000-04:00

Today was something else. There's no way I can say I don't have excitement in my life. Today some of my co-workers were caught lying and slandering the names of the other co-workers and myself. There was a huge meeting about it for about 2 hours because of that. Reason there was a meeting at all, is that this is a small company. We can't afford to have people at each other's throats because we're the only ones on this team making this company float. But it's really ridiculous how far it got. Why they need to be so vindictive is beyond me. And to think that it was MEN! making all this ruckus and they say we women bad!! Please. Men are sometimes the instigators for these things in the first place.

They tried to make it seem like we were nitpicking on trivial things. But if it seems trivial to you, why are you indulging in trivialness in the first place! Why run back to someone and tell them someone said something they didn't say. Why make up blatant lies? Just because you not getting away with nonsense? Because you want to run your racket during company time? So why complain and raise your voice when you get caught? You end up creating rifts between the other workers that didn't exist before then. And I'll say it again, this company is two small to have rifts between co-workers.

I don't think it's over because I saw the two of them go off in the back and have their own meeting. So Lord only knows what they were saying, because they hardly said anything in the meeting at all. But the boss saw me relating the whole incident online to the woman I'm holding on for and asked me to tell him everything. Which I proceeded to do, with no embellishments mind you. But I was compelled to say everything because they had even tried to make an issue of me coming to work late this morning (and I wasn't even going to come because I got a relapse of the flu and I was so weak) but I forced myself because I have to hold the fort here. The boss realised eventually that the only reason they had problems with certain people was because those same people were not giving them a chance to play the fool and get away with nonsense. So hopefully things will get better. But I doubt it. The other directors from abroad are coming in next week so we had to hash it out now. The tension in here this morning was pretty thick. I just hope all goes well next week.

:(

2005-02-16T15:08:00.000-04:00

I'm sick again. My nose, eyes, throat and whole body is just burning. I'm tired of being sick. I want to be well again. I want my mommy or someone to stay with me until I get better, to tell me that I'm going to be alright. To soak my head, give me medicine and hug me till I fall asleep (if I'm not burning with a wretched fever). Sniff sniff.

Stress all around

2005-02-15T19:53:00.000-04:00

Today was in no way a good day. I woke up feeling angry, sad and just generally off. I tried to not let it show but I'm a terrible actress, but today really tried my patience and I may have snapped at poor unsuspecting souls. I don't know why I get up mad though the last thing I remember dreaming was Bel being in the hospital and Pol was sleeping in the lobby waiting for visiting hours to come around. My part of the dream was getting to the hospital and sneaking around all the corridors, asking every person I encountered where he was. But no matter what I did or where I went I couldn't find him and yes it was very frustrating. However, I should have been able to shake my dream mood from my waking mood. It followed me everywhere though.

I got to work and I just wanted to go home. Everything was irritating me and of all the days for TSTT (telephone company) to screw up today was the worse. The DSL kept dropping off the system as usual, however, today it decided to stay off. That would have been fine (to an extent) if I was just bored and using the internet as entertainment but today I actually had to use it to order stuff from online for work, and I couldn't!! It was most infuriating. The longer that the net was down the more upset I was getting. What really set off the bomb that was myself was trying to contact TSTT and kept being put on hold. It was 3 hours of run around that ended up being on hold waiting!! And waiting is the one thing that I don't do well. So after biting my tongue many times I hung up and just resigned myself to the fate of no internet.

Lo and behold the DSL status shows up as being connected but there was absolutely no data passing through the stupid modem. When I thought the day couldn't have gotten worse I started getting this really horrible stomach ache that spanned from the bottom of my lungs, all the way across my stomach and my back. So I got my wish I got to go home, I guess the silver lining was that I got home a half an hour earlier than I usually do. But the day still sucked.

So after stuffing my face with one thing after the next and being reminded that all the food I ate is just going to go to my stomach and my thighs, I'm sitting in front of the computer typing with a headache. But I needed to vent, so here I am. I think I'll skip Gilmore Girls tonight because it looks like it might be a frustrating episode and I don't need to be reminded of my short temper. I just wish I can get up and look forward to the day instead of just looking forward to coming back home.

Happy Valentine's Day to all

2005-02-14T10:51:00.000-04:00

It's that day again. My favourite "big" day is still Christmas though. Plus Valentine's is still just any other day for me because I do try to show those I care about that I do care year round, and they do the same. So it's kind of hard for it to be 'out of the ordinary' special. Because everyday is special. But for all those who make a big deal about it. Happy Valentine's Day to you.

I had a good weekend. I guess the reason I can't say great, is because I'm really exhausted this morning. But seriously it has been a really good weekend. I did get to walk on the beach at night and it was as beautiful as I was expecting it to be. One thing out of the many things that happened over this weekend stood out on the last day at the beach. I was coming out of the water and I was just looking down and it felt like I was never going to get out of it. Step after step saw me walking and walking and still the sand was no where in sight. It felt like being in a loop and that it wasn't going to end. As one wave came in, water was retreating hence why the sand wasn't going to make an appearance. It felt like my life in a way, one repetition after the other with no end.

It was a good weekend though, plenty food, plenty alcohol which I only partook of on Saturday and even then it was limited. The water was nice and I got a little tanned, so hopefully the peeling process would escape me totally. I was expecting to have so much to say, but it was just a cool lime, lots of people. The most exciting thing to happen was a few of Pol's uncles who can't play All Fours so they need to cheat constantly to win. That was frustrating but insignificant in light of the fact that you can still stand by the ocean at night and feel really un-important in the scheme of things.

I'll probably be in a better mood to post tomorrow.

Beach

2005-02-11T10:59:00.000-04:00

I'm off to the beach from this afternoon till Sunday evening. I'm excited but at the same time I feel subdued. I'm not sure why but I can't wait to stand in front of the ocean, because whenever I do, I forget everything. All the bad (imaginary and real) are erased from my mind by just simply standing by that vast expanse of water. Even the sky changes from just being the stuff above you, to this immense entity with a life of its own that fraternizes with the ocean at will. The best time to stand in front of the ocean is at night because then there is no boundary between sea and sky and only then can you put into perspective your real status in this world.

Lately I've been feeling like I've been standing still and it's not a bad feeling. It's just that after last year and all the changes that happened in my life, I keep expecting something else to happen. Like I'm permanently waiting for something. Maybe it's just God trying to tell me to keep still and stop acting like I have ants in my pants, to just be calm and happy that all is well. LOL. So hopefully going by the beach would do the trick, it always calms me. The soothing sounds of the waves crashing while you're trying to sleep or walking along the beach in the night with the moon hidden so all is dark and quiet and you're alone with your thoughts. Regardless of who is around you, it always feels like you're alone under this new sky and impressive mass of water.

I think I'm finally looking forward to it more than I was for the past few hours. :)

One More Day To Go...

2005-02-10T09:12:00.000-04:00

...and then I can be at home for the weekend. I need to find a job that I'm not bored in, that I'm not constantly looking for something to do. The woman I work with is on vacation and I'm holding on for her. That entails me answering the phone that doesn't ring that much. Keep abreast of invoices, deliveries and purchases to be made. But the thing is she wrapped up everything so neatly before she left that I still have nothing to do. Maybe it's a good thing, because there could have been something for me to do and I may not have known how to do it. So I should be grateful. It's just upsetting because I could be using this time wisely somewhere else. I just feel like a marble rolling around an empty shoebox. I know my co-worker is very excited about all the things he is planning for the company. But it's hard for me to get excited about it.

Anyway, just thought I'd post a little. Going to format a walkthrough to keep busy for awhile.

It's good to be home

2005-02-09T20:53:00.000-04:00

There truly is no place like home. Today was the first day I was out of my house for any length of time since I came home Friday last and it was tiring. I didn't do much, it was just the effort of appearing to be alert because I'm at work. My throat, eyes and entire body didn't like being in the air conditioning earlier, because I'm still recovering from the flu. But now that I'm home and the place is so bleeding HOT! I can't say warm, because warm doesn't make u sweat immediately after you come out of the shower. I don't know which I would prefer, my nose bleeding because it's so cold or sweating because it's so hot.

But it's good to be home because there was an amazing pot of chicken alfredo on the stove and amazing people to share it with. I'm sitting at the PC, sipping on a rum and coke and watching Hellboy for the millionth time. It's hard to believe that Ron Perlman who acted as Hellboy was the same guy who acted in Blade II and as the beast in the long ago series "Beauty and the Beast" I was only seven at the time Beauty and the Beast came out, but I remember it like it was yesterday. Remembering back to when I thought love conquered all boundaries, when I thought love was the most beautiful thing that could bring two people together no matter their differences. When love meant that you don't care what the other person looked like because it was the heart and soul that mattered. Yeah I know I was seven. It can still be all those things but it's not very common.

Ok that wasn't where I wanted to go with this post. But hey life is like that, it doesn't always go where u want it to go. But all in all, it really is good to be home.

The Death of a Prince...

2005-02-08T19:32:00.000-04:00

...or more like the death of an Empress or a Dahaka because we BEAT THEM!!! MUHAHHAHAHA!! Finally we got back to the part where we had to go through the Sand Portal (where we got stuck last time) and it didn't stick, Prince gloriously was lifted up by the Sands of the Portal and was transported back to the present. As the walkthrough guided us, we were alerted to the fact that there were two alternate endings, to which we pursued getting both.

The first one was defeating the Empress who was drawn very dangerously, that ended with the Dahaka coming to take her instead of Prince because she was not supposed to die in his time (the present) but in hers (the past) because her death is what creates the sand of time in the first place. The next ending with the Dahaka dying was more pleasing because the Prince wins this battle with the help of the Empress and in the end they leave the Island of time together. Isn't that sweet and sickening at the same time. But the real twist is, when he gets back to Babylon, all his back-tracking trying to prevent the Sands of Time from being made, was in vain because it happens anyway. No man can change his fate...

It was perfect. The same bittersweet feeling that you get when an absolutely fabulous movies ends, or you just finished reading a book that has held you in its clutches throughout the entire ending and then it ends. It was satisfying to finish but disappointing because it ended. The only other thing we can do now is start Kingdom Hearts or Enter the Matrix or the Lord of the Rings RPG. I will however be checking up regularly with Ubisoft and game sites, to see if they decide to make a third installment of this fascinating series.

Carnival Monday

2005-02-08T01:48:00.000-04:00

Well it is officially Carnival Tuesday now, seeing that it is 12:48am but I haven't slept as yet, so it still feels like Monday. For the last few days we've been going to bed late and getting up at the crack of dawn and it really didn't have anything to do with it being carnival. I wish it was just about carnival but the virus that we contracted gave us no time to sleep. We'd go to sleep and not be able to breathe, or we'd get up at 5 and not be able to sleep after that. The silver lining in this case I guess was that we were able to start over Prince of Persia from scratch (due to a glitch in the game that forbid us to fight the final boss stages), this time, however, I'm the one playing. I have to say that even though it can be frustrating at times, it is quite invigorating and very addictive.

I've had to re-do many stages (especially the Dahaka chases) but that was because if I failed I'd get frustrated and the more frustrated I got the more mistakes I made. I think I'm getting the hang of it though. I love it, even though my right hand was cramping up because of having to use that side of the controller so much. But it is a good ache akin to going to gym after you haven't gone for a long time and rediscovering muscles you forgot existed.

Today we got up, got dressed and went up the highway to meet up with Poison for Pol to play mas. However, soon after we got there she started to feel ill, we suspect she might have been on her way to having a heat stroke. That was a little scary because we weren't that far away from the car but she was so weak and was shaking so much she wouldn't have been able to make it. Bel practically ran back to the car to bring it around, but every which way he turned he kept running into Poison band, and as is the custom with our mobile provided we were unable to contact each other. Finally however after what felt like an eternity to Bel and to us we saw the car and was able to take Pol home. She felt much better just before we got home, but it did us some good to get home because it was a few days since we pushed ourselves since we got sick. After a good sleep we all felt better.

I know it is shameful to say that I was playing Prince instead of mas. But hey everyone knows that it's Carnival Tuesday that counts right?

To get back to Prince again, what surprised me was how quickly I got accustomed to the controls and the movements on screen (it's a different story when I'm running away from the Dahaka though because I tend to forget everything). But it was nice to know that (the majority of the time - minus Dahaka chases) I have good eye-hand coordination. I always thought that I would suck at video games, I did computer games just fine but I had a lot of trouble in the beginning migrating from keyboard control to joystick control. But I did it!! :D

To sidetrack yet again, something came to me when I couldn't smell anything for a few days. We were burning the potpourri simmering liquid out of habit and because we were having guests over. But before anyone came over we couldn't smell anything and I remembered the old argument about the noise in the forest. That if a tree fell in the forest and no one was there to hear it whether it made any noise or not. LOL so I thought so if you can't smell the potpourri does that mean it doesn't exist? I know it is a stupid question and of course it exists. I just thought it was funny at the time because I couldn't breathe properly yet alone smell anything.

Anyway I'm going to sleep because I have to get up early tomorrow and go see some mas. I hope all my Trini friends are having an enjoyable yet safe Carnival.

Saturday Morning

2005-02-05T08:43:00.000-04:00

I've been up since 5am, actually saw the sun rise and couldn't go back to sleep. I've always made a big deal about having the opportunity to sleep late on Saturday and Sunday mornings. But there was nothing I could do about this morning. I was more awake this morning than any normal week-day morning. Which made no sense because during the weekdays I get continuous sleep for at least 5 hours. Last night I watched The Matrix Reloaded with Bel, as soon as that was finished we popped in the DVD for The Matrix Revolutions because we could. Lol. That took us till nearly 2 this morning. So all in all theoretically I should have gotten 3 hours sleep, but it was so broken I couldn't believe it. Pol hasn't been sleeping much lately and this morning wasn't anything different. I wish this wretched flu would go away. I want my nose to feel normal and for the fevers to go away.

Right now I'm bored out of my mind, because I'm awake and there's nothing to do. The get-together by my dad is later today, not sure if we're going. I want to go but not sure if my body can make it. Ah well one more thing for my dad to bring out and harass me about.

Fine...I'm sick

2005-02-04T09:24:00.000-04:00

There I admit it, I'm sick. I'm achy, my lungs and throat feels bruised, my skin is scorched (like I jump up for a whole day in the sun and then I decide to walk into air conditioning). Now more than ever I want my mommy. But my Pol and Bel are sick too. Seeing that we all escalated to feeling wretched at the same time we can't figure who got it first.

What's worse is that we're having a family gathering tomorrow and I wanted to play with my cousins who are 3 and almost 1. They're so adorable and I miss hugging them plenty. But I'll have to live with it though. It just seems unfair.

But I'm not upset because I know God still listens to me, because yesterday I was in no mood to travel home and I was praying that I didn't have to wait for a taxi because I really didn't want to walk home. I didn't have to because God made sure I had "THREE" cars waiting to take me home. I know it doesn't sound like much and it sounds like a coincidence but there was nothing coincidental about that. I was very happy to get home and relax. Pol and I had every intention of taking comtrex and going to sleep. But Bel went to the football match so we were home by ourselves and ended up talking from when I got home till almost 12. LOL. I miss that, spending time with her alone. (Now Bel that doesn't mean you need to stay away more often. grrrr!) You are not to take my words and use it against me. LOL!

It's a brand new day and I'm happy about that. I have a wonderful family whom I love more than anything else in this world and I'm so grateful for that. Thank you God!

I found this online and I wish to share it with you....

I wish you comfort...
the feeling that comes from knowing
how much others care for you,
the support of knowing there's
always someone you can call on
if you need to.

I wish you hope...
the strength that comes from knowing
that not even the deepest sadness can last forever,
the power that comes from believing
in the possibility that happiness lies ahead of you.

I wish you peace...
the calm that comes from trusting
in something beyond yourself,
the ease that comes from
surrendering worry and anxiety to a greater power.
These things I wish for you,
especially now.

-Renee Duvall

ARGH!! Wretched Virus!!

2005-02-03T09:37:00.000-04:00

Hi I didn't post anything yesterday because there was a bit of drama that occurred the night before. If it involved only myself or was directly involving me I would talk about it here, but it didn't so I need to respect the privacy of those involved. Yesterday of course it was one of the things that was at the front of my mind, and I couldn't think about what to write. This morning, however, I thought about how to mention it without saying much. So if I've just annoyed you I'm sorry. But I've got it off my chest so I can now proceed with what I can write about.

It is Carnival Thursday morning and I'm feeling wretched, my throat, eyes and nose is burning, not to mention the flame that is in the center of my head. I'm trying desperately not to think about it and I took vitamins and drinking orange juice, because I CAN'T GET SICK!! Carnival is so close. Dammit. I know deep down that this is a bad one because I'm feeling so weak, but come on, it couldn't wait 5 days?!?!

I bought a box of cereal and I was chomping away. I bought it because it reminded me of when I was little girl, when you were sick and your mom would take care of you. She'll tuck you in while rubbing yucky vicks on your chest or administering medicine that you don't want to swallow, (can anyone say Buckley's). But all of that didn't matter because she was taking care of you. Right now as old as I am I want my mommy. So she can rub my head while I drift off into a medicated-induced sleep.

But I'm a big girl and at work, so I'll just put away all my nostalgic yearnings and try to focus on getting through the day. Even though I know I'm going to be miserable all day long.